When we infuse our connections with gratitude and love
and hold them with reverence and light,
they grow regardless of external circumstance.
This article is dedicated to Jess Morrow because in the comments on My Soul’s Reflection is Ocean’s Edge I told her I would explain about yoga rock sculptures and how they fit into my life. I am going to allow complete vulnerability with this one. Thank you for gently stretching with me.
In my ending paragraph, I wrote:
“In my life, not knowing ‘how’ often allows me to excuse my self from my commitment. (As in, I know you will understand I do not know “how” to do this, so I no longer wish to be present). In allowing this to be my life, then, I am affirming that my soul’s reflection is absolutely enough and I will trust that regardless of external.”
An example of this is within my style of parenting. I was given the wonderful gift of a son and a daughter and when they turned two, the world told me there was a stage of development called terrible two’s. I don’t believe in labeling, so I didn’t invest in this “stage”. And we didn’t have terrible two’s. Yes, there were a few tantrums and originally I had no idea “how” to process them, except to open my heart, acknowledge their feelings, and disengage the fear they were experiencing. And this is what I do at each ‘stage’ they cross. There are moments they bring me a situation and I literally say, “This is new to me, I have no idea ‘how’ to do this” and then we just open our hearts and process.
This method works well with my children because our home is our sacred container and they were raised in an environment where transparency is honored, individual expression is encouraged and valued, and love is always the answer. They are extremely familiar with flow and unfolding and heart whispers and manifesting. They believe everything is possible.
When I step outside of my sacred container of “home”, this is my experience:
I have the gift of clarity. As I live my life, I know my truth, I know my purpose, I know where I am in full alignment, I know when I choose to compromise and what the natural consequences will be.
I work in energy. I know that moving energy through my body to the earth and above my head to the sky is cleansing and empowering, allowing me the ability to simultaneously be rooted and to soar.
I practice unconditional love. I know that the combination of love and gratitude equals transformational magic and can transform the lives of anyone whom it touches.
However, in my human form, as I live my truth and the beliefs above, I was not handed an instruction manual that tells me ‘how’ to do any of this. And, I tend to dream big and live those dreams fully, but no-one has told me specifically how and if you ask me ‘how’ my answer is always open my heart (your heart) through it. Sounds wonderful on paper, but in life it can sometimes get pretty messy. In a mainstream world of thinkers and do-ers, dreamers and live-rs don’t really have a place. And when you put unconditional love in a room of people who have residual fear (as most of us do) it isn’t always butterflies and glitter–fear tends to criticize, ostracize, lash out. It’s not fun to be the recipient of that.
Here are a few recent examples of what living my truth (opening my heart through ‘how’) looks in “real world”:
My lifelong dream was to live on a boat with my family and sail around the world. However, when I finally took sailing lessons and invested the time to become a skilled sailor and when a boat became available, external was “less than” ideal. I was a single mom of two young children, having stepped out of a life luxury onto this project boat requiring finances and skills I did not quite have at the moment. But, I did it. We lived aboard for five years, and each step of the way, people asked me “how’ are you doing this, and my answer was I open my heart and we live it one moment at a time. And there was moments of discouragement and doubt and frustration, and I opened my heart through those as well, very thankful to be living this dream. When we recently moved to land, I realized I don’t know “how” to live on land, but I do it, one moment at a time.
If you asked me one year ago how I felt about long-distance relationships, I would have told you I don’t do them, at all, ever. And then I was gifted with the presence of a traveling man and my world expanded to include this magical relationship that I had no idea “how” to do, except to open my heart to live it one moment at a time. Whew, there were moments of extreme “miss” and sadness and fear and confusion, but I opened my heart through those as well, very thankful to experience his presence and the myriad ways that relating enriched my entire life. When his travels created this chasm, I realized I don’t know “how” to bridge that, but I do it, one moment at a time.
After being online for four years, when I created this site, four months ago, I didn’t know “how” to do code, or to be a ‘solopreneur’, or to connect in ways outside of my “circle”. But, I was gifted with this site, and I opened my heart to allow my heart whispers to roam free, and my life changed in all ways. I’m living a dream beyond what I knew possible. Wow. There were moments of exhaustion and doubt and fear and I wanted to quit, but I opened my heart through those as well, very very thankful to have this experience and allow my work and message to change lives. I wrote the ebook, and doors opened and I don’t know “how” to walk over the threshold, but I do, one smidgen of a step at a time.
So, my yoga rock sculptures. When I don’t know “how” to do something, I bring it to my basics. Meditation and the beach. This is where I meet the Divine.
On the day of the above photo, it was sunny, but also windy and quite chilly. Not “ideal circumstances” but exactly where I wanted to be. Each time I build the sculpture, my method varies. To me, it is important to be present to the process of building and allow the method to rise as I build. On this day, I spent hours combing the beach for rocks of different shapes and sizes, and then sat down to build (some days I build a layer, find rocks, build another layer).
As I balanced one rock on another, I would sometimes think of the pages of my book, or a moment in that relationship, or hear my children playing in the background. Sometimes I would feel a tear, sometimes I would smile, but always I would keep on building. Sometimes, I would “think” a rock would fit, but it wouldn’t so I had to remove it and add a different rock and play with it a bit until the structure held strong. However, many of the rocks fit perfectly so, this ridge into that groove, this weight perfect on top of that angle making the process quite effortless in those moments. But, then, I would place the next rock and the entire structure would unexpectedly crumble.
So, I would start again. Often, I would vary the order in which I placed the rocks (if it crumbled, why build it the same way?). I’m always reminded that the foundation is the most important part of the structure and when I honor that, alignment effortlessly falls into place. When it crumbles, I am not afraid or discouraged, because I know I have the resources and the time and the energy to build it again. Sometimes I realize that it was good that the structure crumbled when it did, before I added too much more on it, because there were pieces that were misaligned that I couldn’t see, and now I had the opportunity to build again with better alignment.
Building yoga rock structures requires patience, humor, and a commitment to the process. The shape is often nothing like what I had “thought” it would be, and usually far taller and more grand than I knew I could build. With practice, my skills increase and the structures become more complex and fun. There isn’t an option to “give up” or “to fail” because I’ve already built something (if that makes sense?).
On this day, when I was done, I ran to get my children and the camera, and because it was so windy, in my absence the entire structure that I took hours to build had toppled over. I could only laugh. And rebuild it again, because I wanted that photo.
You see, the yoga rock structure could be anything in life: from my relationship with my children, to living on a boat, to relating with the traveling man, to creating a life. When we bring it back to basics, we are always given the answer in ways we can most easily receive and practice. And, when we choose to open our heart, regardless of external, we are able to build beyond what we could imagine with that which we are given.
Much peace and abundant love,
Reminder: Experiment. Explore. Experience.