What I wish to share is from a vulnerable space.
In the span of the last seven days, a huge wave of “something” crashed into my little life. Already in an adjustment phase of settling into this move, in the throes of doubt spurred by a relationship that began to slowly unwind to this last thread of almost non-existence, this wave full of “new stuff” knocked me over and nearly knocked me out.
I love the power of the ocean, her surges and her currents and the thrill of navigating it all. In the midst of external and quite frankly concentrating on the importance of breathing (because in crisis mode, I tend to ‘hold it in’ instead of allow full breath to tap into flow), I temporarily forgot *love* of anything. Blinded by doubt, I forgot who I was and what I was capable of…and only when I went to the ocean last night to celebrate Full Moon, did I fully remember.
(Note to self: when in “crisis”, remember the importance of celebrating the magnificence of the moment…Full Moon rose, and I wished to accept the invitation to dream!).
This is not about external and how it can be overwhelming. It is about experiencing peace in the midst of that external. Today I reflect to you that *we are* that peace. When I allow external to derail me, it is only because I have forgotten that I am not of external at all….I am of energy and flow and full breaths and expansive space. I am of butterflies and glitter and blossoms and fragrance so sweet it invites others into my realm. I am those “others”. I am nothing and everything simultaneously.
A wave can knock me over only when I am off-balance. It is not for me to be upset with the wave, nor is it for me to be upset with my self. It is for me to stand back up, allow sunshine to dry me off, wind to carry my heart whispers, and beauty to fill my vision. It is for me to thank the ocean for the reminder of power and beauty and the thrill of being alive and the ability to Feel all that I am capable of feeling. It is for me to look into my life and re-align… lovingly, joyfully.
Some people choose to numb their hearts. I understand this coping mechanism. I have used it in the past. It ultimately doesn’t work for me to close my heart to a situation, because in essence that is closing my heart to flow and flow is my essence. When I find I am “unable to breathe” I do not close my airways, I do what I can to open them to breathe fully. Same with heart wounds…
We think we cannot change external, but we can. While my grandmother’s health is precarious, and my children require a chaperone and cook (*grin*) and my career offers daily opportunities to learn; disengaging my mind allows my heart full access to faith, gratitude, and love. External no longer seems an obligation to deal with, but an experience to invest in fully.
So, I found myself at the beach last night, to celebrate the full moon with my children. “The full flower moon—a time when buds have transformed into blooms, reminding us is it time to do the same”-Jamie Ridler (check out her full moon dreamboards—a wonderful practice that I highly recommend). I brought my drum, my barefeet, my hula hoop, and my spirit. And, ironically, as I walked at water’s edge in my sundress in the moonlight, a wave came right up and soaked me from midway down. And I could only laugh…thank you for the affirmation…and keep on walking…
(I love when my clothes are soaked with saltwater–to me it is a symbol of immersion into flow).
It is my goal to invite you to open your heart fully, for this moment truly is a gift, and we can only delight in the full glory of it if we are fully present to it.
How may you best honor this season of abundant blossoming? What creative expression is bursting inside, just waiting for the opportunity to bloom?
Thank you for your presence. May you experience the joy of allowing your heart whispers to roam and return a reality.
Much peace and abundant love,
Reminder: Experiment. Explore. Experience.