So much is written about connecting through vulnerability. The fear that stops many from experiencing vulnerability is the fear of “not enough”. We think: how will you possibly accept me and love me for who I am if I don’t even fully know who I am or have the ability to love the facets I don’t quite understand.
Yet, we know that connecting through vulnerability is powerful and moving; perhaps the underlying fear is that we will be moved to a place that is unfamiliar with variables that we will be unable to “control”. To be vulnerable is to trust fully in the moment and allow flow to bring us to “that place” of orgasmic amplitude. The place where passion resides and anything can (and does) happen.
I have been online this week, quietly absorbing messages and insights and reflections. The volume of work available felt comforting to me, a wonderful affirmation of the joy of learning and gently stretching into the expanse of World. I felt the desire to participate as a student, mind and heart open to absorbing and filtering and processing.
In a week full of work with clients, balanced by hours with Ocean, one might say I have been immersed in clarity and flow. An invitation from Universe to gently stretch into new space. I graciously accepted this invitation—allowing curiosity to open doors previously bolted shut.
Each session with a client is also my own journey within. Each client asked in their own way: how do you even allow yourself to dream, let alone allow those dreams to become your reality. This questioning inspires me to re-visit the truth of living within alignment and to embrace the reality of infinite possibility within each moment.
The answer in words: trust, faith, and the ability to open your heart to the moment as it is presented to you. Allow fear to inspire, love to guide, and Source to surprise.
The answer in example: my story of making love in the moonlight.
Every night I fell asleep in my v-berth on the boat, moonbeams cascading down the mast through the hatch above my head, onto my bed. Every night I slept bathed in moonlight.
For perspective, as a young girl I would look to the stars, pick out constellations, and wonder about space travel. As a woman, I used the cycles of the moon in my energy work and taught my children about constellations and the importance of allowing the sky to reflect to you. I even sent my children to space camp so they could have the opportunities to explore and experience World in ways that had not been available to me at their age.
My favorite evenings were full moon celebrations and new moon rituals and shooting star sightings. So, to sleep bathed in moonlight every night was like being wrapped in ethereal love—a sign from Universe that this was absolutely right. Having just stepped out of a life of chaos, abandonment, and abuse, and onto the dream of this boat, I didn’t understand earthly world much, but as moon wrapped me nightly, I did know I was loved fully and my presence mattered.
After many nights of being wrapped in moonlight, I began to wonder what it would feel like to be wrapped so comfortably in a lover’s arms. I wondered what it would feel like to make love in the moonlight…what type of person would I need to be, and would this lover who would resonate with that person even exist. So far out of my realm of possibility, I could only wonder.
Still broken and bruised in all realms, my mind said that would be most impossible and quite unlikely because I am not about to allow it past fear, doubt, and barriers. Don’t even try. End of story.
But moon continued to hold me in the highest possible light.
Living on a project boat alone with my two children was a dream come true that increased in depth as I did the internal work to release resistance and to heal and grow and learn. Years passed—five to be exact–during which I discovered the power of magic and how to move energy internally to magnify the magic. I learned how to tap fully into flow, and to allow the current of life to guide me. My resistance was strong, and it took a while to learn to align with truth and become confident enough to create from and share it. A gentle process of opening my heart to the moment as it was presented to me. Gradually, my life truly became as magical as I allowed it to be. I lived magic. Every moment.
Making love in the moonlight was no longer in my mind and time was no longer relevant as a space holder. There was no reason to hold space, because life was beyond delightful and every moment contained something to feel gratitude for.
So, when love entered my life, it was very unexpected because it wasn’t in my mind, and I hadn’t “asked for it”, although I had invited it in. With great ease and joy, I received love into my space. And when moon shone, our hearts lept in gratitude, together. There was overflowing abundance in each moment, I felt such gratitude. That gratitude opened my heart to the moment as it was presented, beyond fear, past self-limiting anything, to the glorious experience of now.
I didn’t share my heart whisper with him, because it wasn’t at surface, so, on the night he opened the hatch and moonlight poured in as he bundled me into his arms as he kissed me, all I could feel was that moment. Making love in the moonlight was the most beautiful experience because in those moments I felt my past colliding with my present, collaborating with my future. Gone are expectations and limitations and fear; replaced with the knowledge that everything truly is possible, when we allow it to be.
Living infinite possibility is a journey of gratitude and trust. We may read and study…but only when we apply full presence to living, will we experience.
If you are ready to experience magic, may you allow me to guide you.
When you whisper, it is answered. When you allow Universe to delight you, it will.
This article was inspired by: Sandi Amorim: 14 Quotes to Fire Up Your Genius, Julie Daley: Awaken the Wild, Pema Teeter: Writing and the Safety to Heal: How do you Know When a Story Matters.
Much peace and abundant love,
Reminder: Experiment. Explore. Experience.