Moving Through Resistance: 9 Tips to Dissolve Fear

When exploring something new, auto-pilot no longer works;

may you allow your heart to lead you through fear, into abundance. 

As we consider the idea of change, transformation, embracing new, exploring different paths, experimenting with unfamiliar techniques and practices, we often find that external in our life changes and all of a sudden we are in the land of new and different.

Resistance happens because, in general, people tend to fear that which is unfamiliar.

If you feel you are one who has trust in flow, when resistance arises, you might judge yourself harshly.

If you feel you do not have trust in flow, when resistance arises, you might judge yourself harshly.

When we judge (self or another) we are flooded with feelings that are less than enriching; weighed down, we find moving forward very difficult, and, at times, impossible.

We wish to embrace “new”, but find ourselves stuck.

Even worse, when we are stuck, we expect auto-pilot to kick in; when the experience is new, auto-pilot no longer is applicable and we panic, forgetting even our basic practices that we rely upon to enrich and enliven our energy.

At this point, we feel paralyzed, unable to move ‘back’, really wishing to move forward. Many people quit. Frustrated, discouraged, disheartened.

Right on the border of new..so close they can feel it, they quit.

You are not one who wishes to quit.  You are one who wishes to experience the fullness of the moment.  

I know this, because you are visiting this space where we specialize in exploring and experimenting as we vest presence to infinite possibility. 

I am going to reflect to you a way of presence that invites us to move through these stuck spaces, as we are, “imperfectly so”. 

1. Acknowledge resistance without judgment.  These feelings are a sign that we are moving into something new…I take resistance as a sign that I am in such new territory, it is time to celebrate, for that must mean my “inner work” or practices have resulted in transformation/change. Yes!

2.  Breathe a full cleansing breath (or a few) to enliven the energy in the moment. A full cleansing breath naturally removes that which is stagnant, replacing it with fresh.  The quick refreshment invites the body to move.  Also, when fear arises, we tend to hold our breath.  Breathing dissolves fear (amplifies faith), in that moment. 

3.  Find something within this new experience that is familiar. When we panic, if we can find something familiar, it is calming. When I am in completely new, I look for something that grounds me–perhaps that is something physical about myself (look, my hands are “the same” and capable) or something external (there is the sun in the sky).

4.  Find something within this new experience that you appreciate/love.  When you are in new and different, you have most likely initiated movement into this space because something about it interests you.  Find the something that is interesting (even if it is temporary in this moment).  Find numerous things about this experience that interest you.  Identifying this interest (love) in the moment naturally raises your vibration, which dissolves panic and amplifies trust.

5.  Celebrate all that you have found that is new and interesting. Appreciate the steps you have taken and presence you have vested,  by celebrating the newness that thrills/fascinates/delights you.  Your celebration may be as simple as “thank you”, or adding items to a written gratitude list.  Your celebration may involve a gift or treat.  The idea is to take the time to celebrate while in the newness, even if it still feels unfamiliar.

6.  Release labels and expectations about familiar/unfamiliar and how you think you deal with it.  As you recognize you are in an experience that is new, please also recognize that *you* are now “new” as well.  Perhaps it is that the ways in which you move now differ, because you are in this space.

When you release auto-pilot (because it is not working in these moments anyway) you might find that you surprise yourself by choosing to embrace something you might not previously have embraced, or that release is now “easy” or who knows….

*That* is the point…release what you think you know, to be who you are in this moment.

7.  Allow the unfamiliar to become familiar.   Something is unfamiliar because our minds tell us so, but when you check in with your senses you will find that there is lots “familiar” about it. Our senses process the same, even if external looks different to us.

As we follow the above steps, that which we originally thought was “unfamiliar” becomes very familiar.  Resistance naturally dissolves and trust (in self, in the process, in movement) deepens, inviting further enjoyment and exploration.

8.  Feel the inspiration and motivation. The combination of love, gratitude, joy, and trust has now transformed the feel of fear to inspiration and motivation.  Feel that inspiration and motivation.

9.  Take the next step with gratitude, joy, and love. As you feel that inspiration and motivation, take the next step.  I bet those steps feel much lighter, making them steps of ease and fun!

Notice that one of the steps within this practice is not “ask for help”.  I fully believe in, and cultivate, external support and encouragement.  However, the challenges are that: it is essential that this external support is from like-energy, enriching sources; in general we tend to look to external, when full presence invites us to apply empowerment *first*; there isn’t always someone available in the moment that we “need” them.

I like to share practices of presence that you can use now, this moment, as you are, regardless of what external is (or is not) available to you. 

So, here is your “homework”.  I would like for you to look into your life and identify an area in which you might feel stuck, currently, or an area in which you are reluctant to step forward (although you truly want to) because you feel some resistance to the newness.

When you identify that area, ask your self to apply the above steps.  As you are, right here in this moment.  And, see if expansion truly does feel wonderful as you step into it.  Show your self you are capable of the change you seek and wish for, deepen your trust by not “just” reading the words, but allowing your self the experience of living them.  And, if you would like to share your experience, please email me.

I want you to feel infinite possibility as you move through World connecting and creating.

You are the change. 

I would love to know in the comments below, do you feel resistance, and, if you do, what method do you use to move through it?  When you share, we all learn.

And, the complimentary energetic circle is now open for January 2013.  If you are interested in joining us, please click the title to add your name and intention.

Much peace and abundant love,

Joy

Reminder: Experiment. Explore. Experience.  

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Comments on: "Moving Through Resistance: 9 Tips to Dissolve Fear" (14)

  1. Acceptance is always the first step for me. And I always hear my Mom’s voice in my head telling that there can never be anything that we cannot overcome. If by chance, things don’t work out, we have the satisfaction of having tried.

    That being said, I see resistance as an opportunity for me to grow, mentally, emotionally and physically sometimes depending on what it is. I generally embrace it and befriend it, thanking it for helping me stretch beyond my comfort zone. And then I enjoy the ride.

    Your photo in the sidebar is just so beautiful, Joy.

    Love and hugs! Vidya

    • Thank you, Vidya, for sharing your reflection!

      Resistance can be an opportunity to grow, and I love your practice of embracing and befriending it as you stretch! This is what I learn on the yoga mat…and how yoga is as much spiritual and energetic for me as it is physical.

      What thrills me about your comment is this: “then I enjoy the ride”…yes, may we enjoy each step, each connection, each creative expression…celebrate it as we continue moving forward!

      (My photo in the sidebar is symbolic…after one year of huge transition, I am healthy and well and the photo captures the vibrancy of my essence quite well–and is also a nod to imperfection–not a “professional one”, taken on the way to a sunset celebration on the beach).

  2. I love these steps because they work with fear and not against fear. Fear/resistance/fear can keep cycling if we don’t take the steps you describe. And what a timely message. Have you noticed how many end of the year messages are addressing fear? I think that was a theme for 2012 for many of us, individually and globally. Thanks for adding your wisdom.

    • Thank you, Galen, for sharing your reflection!

      I tend not to be a follower..in fact if something is “trending” I purposely avoid it…however, the energy between 12-12 and year-end has been quite intense for some, and I had received so many questions about fear, and heard so many reflections of fear causing pain, that I felt compelled to share my practice.

      You mention an important point about fear—that it cycles if not acknowledged. When we are afraid of the perceived pain that fear may bring, we tend to avoid it, and it may wreak havoc; when we acknowledge and appreciate its presence it can be a source of motivation and inspiration.

      If fear was a 2012 theme, may love and trust be the 2013 (and beyond) theme :)

  3. jean sampson said:

    I always like to go right into fear, but I usually do it a tiny step at a time. You might not even know I was doing anything if you were looking from the outside, but, slowly, gradually, I am going into fear, out of my comfort zone. That is how I overcame my fear of public speaking—-doing just a little at a time and practicing and practicing with a tape recorder. And feeling the fear every time I would practice! I learned, in one course that I took, to give my speech in a physically active and excited way and the fear would be transformed into excitement—–and it worked! The group said I looked like Susan Powder on speed, but I was not afraid!Actually, I had FUN giving that speech!

    I do think that fear can be transformed into some positive energy —–because all it is is energy, after all. We can manipulate it any way we want to, if we will just remember that. And the more we do it the more we will remember how to work with it.

    • Thank you, Jean, for sharing your reflection!

      “Fear can be transformed to positive energy”–exactly! As you shared through your example of public speaking, one may take tiny steps as one practices new and different ways of creating. And, I love this insight: “you might not even know I was doing anything”….easing into a fear-filled place doesn’t “have to” hurt, if we have practices in place that empower, choosing to explore amplifies that empowerment. And, then…you had *fun*! What a wonderful example!

      As others read your reflection, may they turn it inward and observe how they might apply this technique as they connect and create….

  4. Joy,

    You have put together a detailed plan for handling fear.
    My way is to say, “Yes,” to every opportunity I get as long as it’s moving me forward with my goals.

    • Thank you, Sonia, for sharing your reflection!

      “Say *yes!* to every opportunity” (in resonance and alignment) is a powerful affirmation of infinite possibility!

  5. Joy, this is a fabulous post!

    There is something that I sense different here, but I will… “Allow the unfamiliar to become familiar.” :)

    With the span of years it is difficult to remember the ‘fear’ I confronted in my youth under the shadow of Crystal Pier’s pillars.
    My intent was to lift myself up the distance to a diagonal brace so that I could scale the distance of the 8 inch wide surface to it’s connected upper end.
    The goal was to view as many pigeon nest as my physical body allowed. There was a craving for life’s celebration that I sought to nourish. This has not changed.

    “(look, my hands are “the same” and capable)”

    …well my left hand will never be “the same”, but 5 months of intensive physical therapy surely has made it once again “capable”.

    “Notice that one of the steps within this practice is not “ask for help”.

    …and

    “We must seek equilibrium on another plane. We have to go as far as this limit by ourselves.
    There we reach the void. (Heaven helps those who help themselves…)”

    “We must continually suspend the work of the imagination filling the void within ourselves.
    If we accept no matter what void, what stroke of fate can prevent us from loving the universe?
    We have the assurance that, come what may, the universe is full.”
    ~ Simone Weil

    “Proceed to discover that you were never not whole. That a part of you has always been untouched by the world.”
    ~ unknown

    Thank you…

    • Thank you, Rand, for sharing your reflection! What beautiful quotes that invite contemplation and exploration :)

      And, perhaps the difference you sense is something internal, something within has opened or shifted?….Your reflection covers a span of years in your life which upon reflection shows strength, commitment, and faith…sometimes when we reflect we feel with clarity something we had been unable to express in words until *now*.

      Much peace-

  6. This is great advice!
    I know this sounds petty but I feel stuck in trying to grow my blog. It’s something I’d like to focus more on next year, as well as grow my business (I would like to think they go hand in hand). I know I need to do more guest posting but I’ve always felt some resistance to it for some reason. I guess because of the extra vulnerability.

    • Thank you, Janet, for sharing your reflection!

      Might I suggest we remove “it sounds petty”…an internal judgment. Creating and connecting through a blog requires effort and presence, which is “not petty” at all…it is wonderful as you are stretching and growing :)

      And, yes, one might feel vulnerable when in new places (which is where stretching will guide you to), so may you remember to enjoy the process, to celebrate each step, and perhaps to honor organic growth, so you don’t feel “pain” you feel joy as you grow. If you use the steps in this article, I would love to receive your feedback on the process in a follow-up comment :)

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