Having lived a life of conditioning, habit, and routine; a life in which I shared light and love, but couldn’t fully absorb it into my being and definitely didn’t have the capability to share from depth, desire was foreign to me.
I thought desire was selfish (I know, I apologize now for what I thought then). I couldn’t ask for what I wanted because desire was buried under layers of clutter and barricaded behind barriers of doubt.
I wasn’t living my life. And, that internal gunk manifested into external illness.
Several years ago, I began to practice presence. When desire rose to the surface, I squashed it. If I followed my heart whispers, it would lead to unfamiliar spaces, and I “didn’t have time” to explore. When I shared my heart whispers (such as living on a boat and traveling the world) people told me it wasn’t possible, and I chose to believe that.
But, my heart said ‘yes please’..and then, I became a mother. I knew I wanted my children to experience the reality of the concepts I had been reading and studying and I knew I did not want them to learn through lecture or words, but through living the exploration.
That desire, to share the reality of infinite possibility with my children, changed my entire life. For to share it, I had to live all that I had learned. And, I had to dare myself to keep learning, so that the concepts would remain fresh and current. And, here I am, cultivating and living, desire.
I wouldn’t have thought it possible.
I find it essential to be surrounded by connections that inspire, encourage, appreciate, and motivate. I find it crucial to be vested only in that which enlivens and enriches. And, teachers are placed, reflections are absorbed, in myriad forms.
Danielle LaPorte says “Your desire is a prayer” and all of her current work is about the exploration of desire.
Jamie Ridler shared this video–each time I watch it (and it has been several times already) a different line stands out to me.
If you are unable to watch the video in this space, here is a link you may use: What if Money Didn’t Matter? by Alan Watts
My answer: If money didn’t matter I would do exactly what I am now, only I’d probably truly take Facets on the road (with a wonderful nanny and a lot of support).
May you share your answer? What if money didn’t matter, what would you be doing, how would your life be different? When you share, we learn.
(Oh, and I bet when you read the title, you were tempted to not even read the article…I understand…the word desire tends to mean vulnerability, passion, possibility…all words of unpredictability and potential change. Who knows what will happen if we invite desire into our space??!! Many of us would rather bury it than experience it. Not at all a judgment; as I shared above, I lived with desire buried the majority of my life. Now I cultivate and celebrate it!)
Much peace and abundant love,
Reminder: Linger. Savor. Relish