28 Days of Love: Desire

Desire.

Having lived a life of conditioning, habit, and routine;  a life in which I shared light and love, but couldn’t fully absorb it into my being and definitely didn’t have the capability to share from depth, desire was foreign to me.

I thought desire was selfish (I know, I apologize now for what I thought then). I couldn’t ask for what I wanted because desire was buried under layers of clutter and barricaded behind barriers of doubt.

I wasn’t living my life. And, that internal gunk manifested into external illness.

Several years ago, I began to practice presence.  When desire rose to the surface, I squashed it.  If I followed my heart whispers, it would lead to unfamiliar spaces, and I “didn’t have time” to explore. When I shared my heart whispers (such as living on a boat and traveling the world) people told me it wasn’t possible, and I chose to believe that.

But, my heart said ‘yes please’..and then, I became a mother.  I knew I wanted my children to experience the reality of the concepts I had been reading and studying and I knew I did not want them to learn through lecture or words, but through living the exploration.

That desire, to share the reality of infinite possibility with my children, changed my entire life.  For to share it, I had to live all that I had learned. And, I had to dare myself to keep learning, so that the concepts would remain fresh and current.  And, here I am, cultivating and living, desire.

I wouldn’t have thought it possible.

I find it essential to be surrounded by connections that inspire, encourage, appreciate, and motivate.  I find it crucial to be vested only in that which enlivens and enriches.  And, teachers are placed, reflections are absorbed, in myriad forms.

Danielle LaPorte says “Your desire is a prayer” and all of her current work is about the exploration of desire.

Jamie Ridler shared this video–each time I watch it (and it has been several times already) a different line stands out to me.

If you are unable to watch the video in this space, here is a link you may use: What if Money Didn’t Matter?  by Alan Watts

My answer: If money didn’t matter I would do exactly what I am now, only I’d probably truly take Facets on the road (with a wonderful nanny and a lot of support).

May you share your answer?  What if money didn’t matter, what would you be doing, how would your life be different?  When you share, we learn.

(Oh, and I bet when you read the title, you were tempted to not even read the article…I understand…the word desire tends to mean vulnerability, passion, possibility…all words of unpredictability and potential change. Who knows what will happen if we invite desire into our space??!! Many of us would rather bury it than experience it.  Not at all a judgment; as I shared above, I lived with desire buried the majority of my life.  Now I cultivate and celebrate it!)

Much peace and abundant love,

Joy

Reminder: Linger. Savor. Relish

Related Posts:

Comments on: "28 Days of Love: Desire" (12)

  1. It’s like you are reading my mind, Joy! This line really popped for me: “I shared light and love, but couldn’t fully absorb it into my being.” I was also so inspired by your motivation to live fully as a model for your children.

    If money didn’t matter, would I feel I had ample time and space to absorb love into my being?

    If money didn’t matter, would I write and write and write ~ my writing. Or would I meditate, meditate, and meditate?

    Looking for my true north. Thank you!

    • Thank you, Sandra. If one observes this “desire” for me from an energetic or psychological perspective, I had been raised with abuse and chaos so, in loving my children, I learned to love my “inner child”…in essence, wanting different for my children was also wanting different for my own inner child (which I only realized in the last few years). I recognized because I would allow myself to be abused (as in I am “used to it, can heal it and handle it”–I am not judging, just observing), but I wouldn’t allow it in their space or realm at all. There would be this discrepancy between whom I connected with and whom I allowed to connect with my children–that was a huge external clue and one of the most significant spaces of change in my life.

      Yes! to writing and meditating…and it just might be that your true north contains a wonderful surprise for you…I am so excited for you as you continue to explore!

  2. My desire is long term slow travel with my wife and 2 girls, using the world as our classroom and helping the lives we touch along the way.

    • Thank you, Chris, for sharing your desire! Yours is one of my new favorite sites; the way you choose to live and connect with others and World inspires me greatly in this stage of my journey. As I gather courage to take Facets around the world, as a single mom, it is reflections and affirmations such as yours that remind me of the reality of the possibility. Thank you, truly!

  3. I too second that comment,” I shared light and love, but couldn’t fully absorb it into my being.”

    If money didn’t matter, I would alternate periods of explorative travel with periods of intense learning and development of my physical being and creative talents, both punctuated with periods of relaxation, rejuvenation, celebration, and reconnection with my inner guidance and my external reflections of self- friends and family. I’d host regular life celebration events for those closest to me, and I’d begin working on bringing some of my many creative project ideas to life, beginning with completing the renovation of my home space, and taking a long cross-country driving trip with my dog. :)

    • Well, Molly, to me you are the queen of *love and passion* so it thrills me that you chose to jump into the conversation with desire! You know I believe that what I see strongly in you is a reflection of me, so as I absorb the feel of your reflection here, I find myself thinking of so much that I have allowed to “fall by the wayside”…my love of travel, and road trips, and hosting wonderful day-long celebrations. I cannot thank you enough for this reflection..a gift! Thank you for sharing!

  4. jean sampson said:

    I am doing a lot of what I would be doing if money didn’t matter—–painting and writing poetry, but I might limit the teaching to one semester a year instead of 4 consecutive semesters. I have also done things called Play shops for Women that were very exciting and gave women time to be creative and intuitive and have fun playing with glitter and paint and even blowing bubbles. But the person I used to give them with and I were not marketers and we also didn’t have a place to give them (works best in the country). But I still have to dream that I will one day offer them again! They were SO MUCH FUN!!!

    • Thank you, Jean, for sharing! I would love a *play* shop…do you think we could co-host one? Seriously. Yes, please!!!!

      And, I love this answer: I am doing a lot of what I would be doing—Yes! Love to you!

  5. Desire?

    “The people so often sleepy, weary, enigmatic,
    is a vast huddle with many units saying:
    “I earn my living.
    I make enough to get by
    and it takes all my time.
    If I had more time
    I could do more for myself
    and maybe for others.
    I could read and study
    and talk things over
    and find out about things.
    It takes time.
    I wish I had the time.”

    I am fortunate after my injury to once again return to the hard physical work that one part of me values so much.

    I love to read…just finished ‘Gravity and Grace’ and ‘Tortilla Flat’…will finish up a John Muir biography.

    I love the expressions of the ‘peoples’ of the world through art and literature.

    I am blessed that my two daughters are both maintaining a very high level of academic achievement in college and high school.

    *If money didn’t matter*…?

    I would place myself among the working labor class in a part of the world to work in their field or factory. I would immerse myself with their art and culture. I would strive to understand their ‘desires’. After time I would leave for another part of the world to do the same, but before doing so, I would leave an on going scholarship program behind.

    Between the finite limitations of the five senses
    and the endless yearnings of man for the beyond
    the people hold to the humdrum bidding of work and food
    while reaching out when it comes their way
    for lights beyond the prison of the five senses,
    for keepsakes lasting beyond any hunger or death.
    This reaching is alive.
    ~ Carl Sandburg
    From ‘The People, Yes’

    • Thank you for sharing, Rand! When I absorb the feel of this reflection, I receive affirmation of my decision to remove my presence from the long hours at the hospital in which I worked graveyard and sacrificed sleep to “be with my children” during the day; but I didn’t realize how much of my presence was on auto-pilot at that time. And how alive I feel now, vesting my presence to that which enlivens.

      I am glad you were able to return to the work that you love! Thank you for sharing!

  6. …oh I remember your ‘graveyard’ shift’ at the hospital. I also remember leaving a comment to a few of your post after getting off one of my ‘graveyard shifts’ :) Alas, fortunate again for me that my full-time job has verity in its hours. The last time I got off work in the morning was 2:00 a,m, after working the Who concert. Yesterday was a mix of ease and physical on the job @ overtime rate :) Today off work, but have been in doors this cold, wet winter day working on a 105 year old Waltham pocket watch (using the jeweler’s lathe and my staking set a lot.

    I am very happy for you and the children that the change you made is working out so well :)

    • Thank you, Rand. My essence thrives in change; it is learning to vest presence to constants that has resulted in expansion in all realms!

Please share your voice: "28 Days of Love: Desire"

When you share, we learn!