I received this in response to an email I sent to a friend yesterday regarding my asking her to “bless” my article about my son.
“I think your exploration of imperfection is providing a huge heart opening for you because I’m pretty sure this is the first time I have received a message from you where I could hear uncertainty or vulnerability speaking so clearly and openly through your words.”
Yes, these words are spot-on.
I love to explore. My heart whispers soar and my entire being celebrates the feel of infinite possibility within new spaces.
Then, my mind kicks in…with: “not enough”, “are you equipped to be here”, “have you ‘earned’ the right to be in this space”…
Oh yes, conditioning and learning from my past, that sometimes only surfaces once I have reached the very point I was gently stretching into.
Have you been there?
The space of Faith.
As you step into it, the bridge behind you dissolves. The only “way out” is to continue to step forward, into this new, unfamiliar space.
If you think of stepping with fear, it feels impossible, and you become “stuck”. The resistance manifests in physical ways such as illness, tension in connections, restlessness, a creative block.
If you think of stepping with faith, it feels very possible, very inviting, exciting. And, your heart says, yes please.
If I look at this exploration logically, in the past few days, I have opened to resonance with Love in new spaces, and: have been surprised by people whom I love yet hadn’t connected with in a while—people who inspire me as they live their heart truths and share their works in progress. Out of the “blue” I received two sizable monetary donations right when I ‘needed them’. My new class is well-received; I am taking it as a student and I find it fun (and quite synchronistic) to be immersed in gratitude while I am exploring love.
The feel of abundance, wonder, awe, is palpable.
I am learning again/still/as always that the energy I choose to create and connect with is the energy that manifests what is currently in my life.
When I felt “broken” in the midst of losing everything, I drew to me broken. Fast forward to one- year later, I feel resonant with infinite possibility, and I draw to me perfectly placed miracles.
I am giving what I have and in turn receiving what I “need”.
So, yes, I feel vulnerable, because this space is new to me…to be “alone” and spinning magic and enjoying it…*very new*!
To know that I don’t have answers to the practical questions of where we will live next, and “how” it will all look one month from now, is only disconcerting if someone shines their disapproval upon it, which reminds me of the importance of surrounding myself with Love.
I found myself on the beach last night, well after sunset, feeling too layered. (Really, I am a lot of things, but “too layered” is not usually one of them!). I rolled up my pants legs and waded in the water–stars twinkling in approval above me.
(Something about ‘allow yourself to get messy, to play, to refresh. You wrote about Kevin soaring, you guide others soar, just do it…I dare ya’.)
Ah, Divine approval...Faith is the current that moves me.
May I ask, what is the current that moves you? Is there a specific space or connection asking you to step into that current? When you share, we learn.
(the photo above is from last night. I received quite a few likes on Instagram, yet when I look at it, it is incredibly imperfect…and isn’t that the “affirmation”…we tend to notice the Light through the imperfections.)
Thank you for walking a few energetic steps with me. I very much appreciate your presence!
Much peace and abundant love,
Reminder: Linger. Savor. Relish.