28 Days of Love: The End

love-is-never-lost

As you know, I practice presence to unfolding with organic growth.

Within this practice, there are natural cycles that follow seasons and there are natural cycles that follow segments.  For simplicity, let’s call the seasons Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall and let’s call the segments the beginning, middle, and end.

There, I said it…the end.

Whew…

You see, many people are very reluctant to open their heart to experience the full range of love because they are afraid of “the end”. While heart says ‘oh, yes please’ yearning to explore depth and range, mind often says “no thank you”…leaving that yearning unfulfilled.

Not knowing what to do with that energy, people hide it under layers of weight, clutter, busyness; numb it with substances such as food, alcohol, and drugs; ignore it as tension builds and morphs into physical pain, illness, and stress.

Yuck.

Why? How is any of that possibly “better than” the perceived pain one might feel if one chooses to vest presence to love?

Because, in general, we are afraid of the end (some are afraid of the “happy” ending), many of us choose not to “begin”.

Whether we are considering opening our heart to vest love for a person, a specific physical movement (for example I love sailing), a creative expression, the possible joy, bliss, abundance of the experience is often overshadowed by the fear of perceived pain.

And, what if we have chosen to vest to love, and have “lost” something, that pain is very real to us.  So, many of us choose not to “begin again”.

What if you knew, without a doubt, with your entire being, that there isn’t an “end”.  That love is a continuous, infinite flow of energy always available to us, when we choose to tap into it.  Would you choose to open your heart?

The challenge is that we sometimes get caught up in insisting upon a specific form–a certain person, this one activity, this path, “this” whatever it is that we really want to have our way about. even when the person, activity, path, no longer resonates, we often cling insisting upon familiar. We don’t notice that while we are insisting upon form, abundant love is right there waiting patiently for us to tap into it.

Love doesn’t cause the turmoil and tension, we do. Love doesn’t leave us, we abandon it.

Let’s observe growth within nature.  When a flower blossoms, we celebrate.  We know that soon it will wilt, yet we don’t refuse to acknowledge and appreciate the blossom because it has a short life-span. We enjoy its beauty and fragrance for as long as it present.

If you feel resistance as you read this (which you will know because your mind will be saying “yes, but….”), that is perfectly fine.  My intention is to present to us peaceful, expansive ways of connecting and creating; ways that invite expansion within heart space as mind contemplates the concept.

If you feel resonance as you read this, I would love if you may share any practices that you use to acknowledge and/or celebrate “the end” as you continue to move through to a beginning?  When you share, we learn.

Note: The above photo was taken on the “last day” of a very special relationship.  After driving him to the airport, my face still wet with the mixture of our tears as they trickled down my cheek during our last embrace,  I made a conscious choice to honor this experience by keeping my heart open to the energy of love. I went to the beach to celebrate sunrise, which I knew would inspire my heart to remain open, and I breathed in fresh air and the feel of infinite possibility.  Soon, it was my own tears trickling down my cheek. With that, I created Facets and all that is before you in this space.

I choose to feel each moment as it is presented to me; to see the light and to celebrate it; to learn new ways of movement as I deepen my practice of presence.  However, I reached a plateau stage, so I decided to collaborate with love in a “big way”. I asked several of my peers to dare me (and you!) to open our heart ever farther to the energy of love.  I present to you pre-registration information for my new class “Illuminate Your Heart Whispers”. For more information, simply click the link.

See “how” I wove energy throughout this piece. I presented an idea, softened it with love, “ended” with a personal example (because we are not alone in loss, we have all felt it), and presented us with a way to move through it, together.  Even if the class does not resonate with you, the idea is that after you choose to open your heart, dare yourself to move into new spaces as you collaborate with love in creation and connection. (I didn’t just “leave us at the end” of this series, I moved us through it to a new beginning.)

Much peace and abundant love,

Joy

Reminder: Linger. Relish. Savor.

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Comments on: "28 Days of Love: The End" (12)

  1. Love is definitely a risk…but how less rich our lives would be, how dull and boring, if we didn’t not only accept the risk, but embrace it.

    I always feel that there are endings tucked inside beginnings…just like the cycles of nature remind us.

    • Thank you, Talon, for this luxurious feel of this affirmation “there are endings tucked inside beginnings…” like a little treasure that one looks forward to finding!

  2. jean sampson said:

    I am always aware of (and feel grief because of) the loss that I know is coming when my relationship with something or someone begins. I had this awareness as a young child and it has dogged me all of my life. Even when I get a pet, I am aware that they normally do not live as long as humans do, so I am aware of the loss that is coming at some point. I think how I handle those feelings now is to remember the times that, even though there was a loss, and maybe a BIG one, I was still aware of the affect the person or pet or situation had on me and I was still in the relationship to some degree, and always would be.And the other important thing is that I allow myself to grieve hard and as much as I need to. Tears are much better than avoidance and whatever comes with that. This has been a great journey, Joy, and I look forward to the next one with you and the community. What a wonderful way to end this session! Love you!

    • Thank you, Jean, for sharing so openly in this reflection.

      When my mom left, my “childhood fear” has always been of “the end”…of anything, I would leave half-read books, half-watched movies, half-finished conversations…not finish the food on my plate…all to avoid the “end”..

      You speak of awareness, which is key to the feel of peace within the experience. And you speak of using your own experiences as inspiration for more “risk-taking” which is a wonderful practice–when our own steps can inspire it’s easier to trust. And, yes to allowing grief…so powerful and empowering!

      I wonder if any other readers might identify with, and use similar practices as you have described here?

  3. I think this is such a powerful insight Joy. Since I studied Buddhism for many years, I think I really came to first explore this within the context of Buddhist teachings on transience. Really, this is the root of Buddhist practice – through meditation and mindfulness really coming to know directly that every thought, word, sensation, and experience in this world has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Because of this, we develop so many fears and ways of avoiding ends, or cravings of the same experiences over and over (addictions.) And both keep us trapped in these relative levels. When we see past this, we can discover that which has no beginning, middle and end. And we can truly be in the moment, where there is no beginning, middle and end too.
    So for me, I think it is really meditation, watching my own mind, that has helped to bring this truth home to me.

    • Thank you, Lisa, for your reflection! It surprises me that without “formal Buddhist studies” so many of my inherent practices are similar to those within Buddhism.

      There are so many benefits within the practice of meditation; I am so glad that you mentioned it here.

  4. Waving Good-Bye

    I wanted to know what it was like before we
    had voices and before we had bare fingers and before we
    had minds to move us through our actions
    and tears to help us over our feelings,
    so I drove my daughter through the snow to meet her friend
    and filled her car with suitcases and hugged her
    as an animal would, pressing my forehead against her,
    walking in circles, moaning, touching her cheek,
    and turned my head after them as an animal would,
    watching helplessly as they drove over the ruts,
    her smiling face and her small hand just visible
    over the giant pillows and coat hangers
    as they made their turn into the empty highway.

    ~ Gerald Stern

    Yes, a wonderful ending to *28 Days of Love*

    I’ll reflect on your favorite photo during my barefoot run on the beach this evening.

    Thank you Joy!

    Everyone remember to ‘stretch’ now…

  5. Anne McCarroll said:

    Joy, this installment has, in my mind, been the most powerful and resonant for my way of looking at love and endings. I have -my whole life- been terrified to let go and let end. Your words made much sense and inspired me to reach in and stretch my understanding and feeling of the end. My intention for this month bumped right up against this sequence of installments of love. I feel I’ve grown some from it all…and stepped into new spaces I was afraid of-and am still…though I am making my way through it!
    Great writing, great ideas and such passion behind it all!
    Thanks for your insights!

    • Thank you, Anne. I think there is such power when we all share our fears in this conscious way. So often, we hold them in, our mind amplifies them; when we share them and find we ‘are not alone’ we are inspired to move through them (or at least with them).

      If you feel comfortable, might you share your specific fear of letting go and let end? Mine was that there wouldn’t be a “replacement” of whatever I was letting go of. I preferred the discomfort of ill-fitting and non-resonant–below that was a fear of “not enough”.

      Thank you for the kind words! Please remember that new spaces–even resonant and exciting new spaces–might feel so unfamiliar that at first body naturally rejects or resists them, so breathe into a gentle stretch, and celebrate each step….This that you have shared here is “cause” for a celebration!

  6. Hi,

    Just wanted to say congratulations! You did it! You followed thru and completed “28 days.” You are awesome! Thank you for the lessons!

    • Thank you, Mignon—your affirmation means a lot to me. I hadn’t quite conceptualized that I had “reached the end” until I read your words. Yes! I was so busy thinking ahead, I forgot to stop to celebrate…now I shall! Thank you!

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