On this Full Moon evening, I am choosing to open to share with you why I have been quiet on my site since my last article, written on October 1st “Happy October! Opening This New Month with a Creative Surge” and why and how I decided to create and facilitate my *free* 21-day Manifesting with Joy in Daily Life teleseries.
In my article, I wrote:
Some people ask ‘how I can whip up a class or an offering’ *just like that*. Well, when my heart whispers, it’s a joy to create. Yes, it takes time to do the technical work, then switch over to let creative expression flow from my intuitive self, but nothing about it is draining, even if it takes several hours of presence to start the project.
Feeling this morning’s magic, I created something today that I have wanted to create since opening Facets of Joy a few years ago.
And, then I created the series! There were quite a few nineteen hour work days, which meant little sleep, as I created this series right on top of regular life. It was fun! *And*, it meant that the radical self-care my body needs was pushed off until now (I understood it would be a temporary push and now I need to concentrate on healing.)
The most surprising, and affirmative, event is that right before my last recording yesterday, as the series was wrapping up, my computer died! (I say ‘affirmative’ because I have no choice, as I wait for a new computer, to rest and heal!)
So, I’m ready. It feels quite vulnerable to share so openly here about something that I don’t yet have answers for, but I realize that people in my online energetic intention circle, and some of the speakers, know my intention for the timing of the series, but you don’t, and it might inspire you to create in your life if I share, so with a deep breath, and much centeredness, here I go.
The Timing of Creating my Teleseries: My “Why” and How
Toward the end of September, I had been in medical testing for symptoms that looked and felt similar to cervical cancer (which I had a few years before). I understand the timing and energy of it and although I am a holistic being, I intentionally went to the doctor to gather information on what the symptoms meant and which organs and body parts needed some extra love and attention.
I knew the test results would be given in the first week of October and I knew what direction the results were heading.
So, there would be a bit of ‘waiting’, then. Well, my entire being said ‘you have always wanted to create a teleseries, please do so now. Engage your mind in something positive instead of letting your thoughts spin’ (something I teach in my “Worry-Shift” ecourse and this is an example of what the practice looks like in my daily life).
Logistically, huge collaborative projects like this require planning, especially because there are other’s schedules to take into consideration. And, my life was already quite full – not to mention the added limitations and pain from the symptoms I was having.
But, because I listen to my heart, I prepped my information page (the gorgeous photo was created by Tanya Levy aka Heartlady on Facebook – once she made my vision real in less than 30 minutes, I knew I would do this project!).
I asked one friend (Jenny Griffin from The Power of Change) to chat with me to see how it felt. We speak often, but this was our first ‘official and recorded’ conversation. There was flow and it was fun!
So, in essence, I centered and created a container for this project, then invited Source energy in to bless it and expand it.
That night, I sent invitations to my friends requesting that they participate in my series. I was ultra-surprised and grateful to find that I know so many heart-centered, joy-filled powerful manifesters/conscious creators! Only when the series was completed, did I notice this was an all-female series, which felt to me like a celebration of “Divine Feminine Goddess energy”.
Each step of the way, I centered, called in energy to the project and opened to be present to flow. Had I attempted to plan it, it would have been stressful and exhausting – but what I felt was ease and joy and such gratitude, each step of the way.
Please understand, I ‘whipped up’ the bulk of this series in one week’s time. Everyone – except for three people – said yes! Woo-hoo! (Those three people said teleseries just ‘aren’t done this way ‘ – which can be true, and also I was proving ‘it to be untrue’ because I was creating it *just like that*).
To be *very* clear: This entire project was a manifestation! I centered and kept centering as I scheduled an interview a day (except one day I recorded six interviews!!). So, while I was very present to this work, it was also very much Source energy that brought it together and allowed it to unfold with the energy it has.
Recording an Interview on My Biopsy Day and the Divine ‘Rightness’ of These Interviews
One of the most interesting days (for me) was on the day I had a biopsy. I worked at my p/t morning job, then had the biopsy.
While I have a high tolerance for physical pain, it was excruciating to me, and while in the procedure, I knew I was going to be sick. As the procedure continued, I knew I was going to faint. I also knew I had an interview to record in two hours so I needed to be home and centered!
As I told the doctor I was going to faint, I fainted. She said the pain was because I had an internal infection, which she tested for after I fainted. (I guess we might not have known had I not fainted.)
So, feeling very raw and tender, I did the inner work to center, then I facilitated my conversation. The following day, I could barely move around, but I could sit in my chair – that was the day I recorded six conversations.
Here is what I’d like for you to understand. I have great communication with my body. I speak kindly to myself. I wove great energy into my being. In between recording, I rested. I made sure everything in my space was love and light-filled. *And* the conversation topic was about living infinite possibility!!!! Can you feel the absolute ‘rightness’ in that?!
I’m not one to have a ‘pity party’ day, but even if I wanted to, I was immersed – and continued to be immersed – in infinite possibility, daily – reminding myself of what I hold to be true and living it fully even as I shared my beliefs publicly.
Now, to be very very clear: this only ‘worked for me’ because I am kind and gentle with myself and I kept my space love and light-filled. I don’t advocate ‘pushing’ yourself through and I very much am about taking the time to heal. So, I need to stress had any of this exhausted me in any way or adversely affected my health, I wouldn’t have done it.
The Unfolding of the Series
I didn’t have an idea of when the series would end.
It turns out that tonight – on Full Moon evening – I am writing the last prompt which is day twenty-one: a Gratitude Prompt. In each of my offerings, I honor a gratitude day every seven days, and it ‘so happened’ that the series naturally, organically ended on day twenty-one: a gratitude day, with Full Moon energy. Oh my!!!
I was going to write and share this in that circle only, but I tend to do that quite often – share in my own, protected, comfortable circles – so I decided to open through that pattern and share here, publicly, in this space.
My Current Medical Status
My current medical status is uncertain as I am in more testing this week. My doctors are concerned that I may have cancer in my bladder. That news is fresh and I am still processing it – I don’t quite love it, but I am doing the work to keep opening to gather information all while wrapping energy around and through it.
I am learning to love my body through this ‘second time around’. It’s a stretch, but is possible, when I choose to share appreciation to my body for all that is working well and is healthy and ‘good’, instead of feeling the current limitations.
And, I am learning to open to connect, fully (with people – I am always, quite fully, connected to Source and flow) even though it feels vulnerable and sometimes scary (mainly because some people react with fear when I tell them, and I wish that it was possible to just share love – but I understand it!).
I want to be sure you understand there have been many, many energetic and physical blessings this month as I created this series from my heart whispers and connected through vulnerability. I feel very loved and supported in all realms!
So, that’s that.
Thank you for being present to reading and processing with me!
And, if you are interested, the Manifesting with Joy in Daily Life teleseries is open through November 30, 2015 to download conversations and participate in the free Facebook Discussion forum. And, my new Worry-Shift session begins November 15th (which will be great timing because I will be in lots of uncertainty medically – nothing like using my own practices to shift my energy!).
What You Can Do
People ask what they can do to support me, in general. Please continue to see and celebrate the light, beauty, ‘rightness’ and ‘goodness’ in your life. Please create what your heart asks you to. Please connect with source and people, even when you are scared or feeling not optimal. Please celebrate this moment, because it is a gift. And, then, please share that with me – either via email, social media or the comment section. It truly lights my heart and inspires me to receive in!
If you’d like to help in an energetic way, please send love and prayer (for peace and joy for myself and my children as we process this together).
If you’d like to help in a physical way, please ask me.
My heart thanks your heart for your presence!
Much peace and abundant love,