When You Don’t Know What to Do, Love Yourself Through It and Some Heart Guidance on Considering Resonance When Growing Yourself, Intentions and Dreams

To me, this flower feels like a sunburst, and I love that!

I bought this particular bouquet for myself based on the vibrant color and beautiful shape. I appreciate that energy in my space. Especially, now, when I’m focusing on tuning into creative expression and allowing it to flow….and giving my heart whispers ample space and room to breathe and grow!

I have a few thoughts about this flower, and flowers in general, that I’d like to share with you.

Thought One

(If you follow me on Instagram, some of this part might look familiar, but I also added to it for this post, here.)

As you likely know, I practice presence to unfolding within organic growth, as a way of being. I’m interested in understanding, and holding space for, natural cycles and seasons in the myriad of parts that make up my life (for example, being in my body, specific projects, all of my relationships).

Most of the time, I fully attune to, and embrace (and enjoy) natural cycles and seasons, as they unfold. Sometimes I much prefer one stage or season over the other. Or, I find myself resisting or wanting to skip over a stage or season because I don’t like the feeling. (Maybe you can relate?)

I learn lots about unfolding and organic growth from flower (or plant) energy. To me, flower blossoms are a visual of heart whispers blossoming within the process of organic growth. So, when I’m ‘growing something’ in my life, I like to have flowers nearby, or I visit places flowers are known to grow (like public gardens or my friends homes).

I’m greatly delighted and inspired by flowers that grow in unexpected places. (Like around a tree stump or in a planter in a parking garage.)  I seek them out and celebrate them when I see them (and I often share that via social media as encouragement for whomever wants it).

I also love seeing full blossoms in places they are ‘expected to grow because everything is in place to support them’, spaces. (Like a flower field of blossoms, or a garden where tending and care is evident in the ‘result’).

As I consider both growing in less than optimal spaces and thriving in optimal spaces, I think we can become so used to struggling – and that mainstream glorifies and rewards struggling – that we forget ease, peace and joy exist (and vice-versa).

I also think if something feels ‘too easy’ or too ‘good’, we sometimes automatically don’t trust it and push it away or stop the growth process.

We can grow where we are planted *and* we can thrive in the most optimal for us conditions.

Thought two

Whenever I think “I don’t know how to do this”, I smile inside, because I ‘know’ the answer (for me).

I do know how to do ‘this’. Whether it’s physical, emotional, energetic, psychological, in this realm or the spiritual realm.

I love myself through it. For me, that means I take a deep breath, or a series of breaths. I center. I tap into source. I do some physical stretches to shift energy within. I pray. Then, I take the next step. Whether that’s rest or hydration or research or an action.

I practice being very care-filled with my self-talk (because I tend to be self-critical). I make sure I am being encouraging and thoughtful and compassionate with my inner dialogue (it’s a practice!).

I check my boundaries, because when I am feeling overwhelmed or under-empowered it’s crucial that I don’t allow in to contribute to that.

I thank myself for my step.

I call-in resonant and skilled support, when I need to.

I bless all that unfolds from that step, from being present to this process.

Then, I do it all over again.

Note: What if I don’t feel like loving myself through it? At least I know I have that option.

Some heart guidance

Sometimes we give everything we have, and still something in our life (ourselves, our dreams, a goal) isn’t growing when we want it to or think (or are told) it really should be growing.

(Here is where “I don’t know how to do this”….*Love yourself through it*…comes in!)

Something to look at is resonance.

When we ‘grow’ (ourselves or things) in resonant spaces or with resonant people, it might be easy, joyful, fulfilling, fun. That’s okay. You can trust it. Allow yourself to thoroughly enjoy it, and to keep on growing *more*!

(Here, too, is where “I don’t know how to do this”….*Love yourself through it*…comes in!)

And, also you can trust that ‘it’ (whatever you’ve grown) will stay with you, as long as you tend to it. (Of course, there might be some natural growing pains, but that’s a far different feel from that in non-resonant spaces.)

When we try to ‘grow’ (ourselves or our intentions or dreams) in non-resonant spaces or with non-resonant people, it might not ‘seed’ or there might be overwhelming-feeling challenges and the experience might be emotionally and physically painful or exhausting. That doesn’t mean something is ‘wrong’ internally, or our intentions or dreams aren’t ‘valid and good’.

We can look to flowers (and plants) for guidance, here. There are guidelines (and sure, there are occasional exceptions) about what climate and what nutrients in the soil, make the best, most optimal growth experience for each flower and plant. For a very clear example, I know peonies aren’t going to grow naturally in winter in upstate NY. And, if you try, by planting peonies outside in winter, the reason you might experience ‘non-growth’ and lots of frustration in trying, is simply due to non-resonance.

If there are spaces, or projects, or relationships in your life that you felt would surely experience blossoming, but aren’t, I invite you to check for resonance to see if that is affecting the experience, feeling like a potential barrier or a pain-point for you.

Something else to check is what stage of a natural cycle or season might that project or relationship be in and how does that affect the growth.

Once you have this clarity, you can use that understanding in making choices, moving forward.

I’m writing this on the eve of tomorrow’s (Sunday’s) New Moon. New Moon energy is perfect for considering what ‘seeds’ (of intention) you’d like to plant and what you’d like to focus your energy and intention on to grow.

I invite you to consider resonance before you plant your seeds, and as you monitor the growth process of what you’ve already planted.

Dear Reader: I’d love to know what you can relate with, or what speaks to you, from this that I’ve shared. If you have questions, please ask. I also invite you to share whatever you’d like about the seeds you are planting this New Moon cycle. (please do share whatever you wish; I read and respond, and I know others read, and are inspired or encouraged, even if they don’t respond.)

Thank you for reading! New Moon Blessings <3

Much peace,



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Comments on: "When You Don’t Know What to Do, Love Yourself Through It and Some Heart Guidance on Considering Resonance When Growing Yourself, Intentions and Dreams" (2)

  1. Hi Joy! What a wonderful message for everyone no matter what stage of growth we might be in. Yes, it is delightful to be growing in “resonant” earth, but for the times that conditions are less than optimal, we can use whatever we are presented with or scrounge around and find, and do what we can with it. It is really creativity at its most basic stage, almost making something from nothing or from something that is apparantly valueless and finding new value in it or even creating that value. I see you doing this all of the time and I find it really inspiring and lovely! Sending you love <3

  2. Joy! There is so much here- thank you for sharing! And the beautiful pictures of flowers and you! What a delight!

    I’ve just returned from a weekend of unfolding in a space of such ease, joy, fulfillment, and fun that the growth and heart-opening I experienced was life-altering! I attended a long desired coaching training introductory course that became quite magically available to me at this time, and as soon as I walked into the room on Friday I felt instantly *at home* in a way I’ve rarely felt before. The magic that happened throughout this weekend, that was created by these people in this space, not just for me but for everyone who shared it, was absolutely a direct result of everyone bringing their whole selves to that space, opening to the experience, allowing it to unfold, and of course the beautiful space-holding abilities of the facilitators and their assistants. I could feel the love pouring out of all of our hearts that Sunday towards the end of the day. The connections were powerful. The love and light was palpable. I am filled with awe and gratitude for this entire experience and I know, without a doubt, it planted a seed in me that is sprouting a new direction in my life as I write this…and I am committed to this path *and* allowing it to unfold and grow organically from here.

    I’ve no earthly idea the ‘how’ or ‘what’ or next steps right now, *and* I trust so fully in this process and this energy I shared this weekend that I know without a doubt that a way will open for my next step to be clear. Even now, without that information, I have so much clarity about my purpose and my path that I feel I am vibrating at a level so intense that my whole focus is currently on grounding that energy within myself. Which, thankfully, I have the new moon in Virgo energy to help me with doing! ?

    And as I read your article here, I was reminded that it was YOU, so many years ago who helped me along this path to find myself here today. It was YOU who modeled and taught me presence, holding space, allowing for unfolding and organic growth…all these pieces I am now using together to co-create the life I choose! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the beauty and peace and love you consistently share with self and us all and the larger world! May all *your* new moon wishes come to be beyond your wildest dreams!

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