Dear Facets of Joy,
Less than one year ago, you were born. My heart whispers, the truth of my essence, in this space, on the web.
From day one, I created and connected *through* you. You grew. My heart space grew. A wonderful cycle of flow…yet, all of a sudden, I was in a completely vulnerable spot. Quite unexpectedly. I hadn’t visioned such growth, nor was I completely comfortable with it.
Anything I could have asked for, happened within a few short months. While I was so appreciative, I was also afraid. To continue to create and connect with transparency, required that I trust to a depth I hadn’t experienced before. Opening my heart to strangers has always been easy for me, yet now I was in a position to allow this heart opening within a large number of people. An ever increasing number. I was in the position to be rejected in a big way. (Or accepted, but I couldn’t see that then).
To parallel this, in life I had opened my heart to share my personal space in a way I hadn’t before. I committed to allow unfolding, which meant that in the moments I was afraid and would want to quit, I found myself learning and growing and continuing beyond what I knew into the realm of infinite possibility.
As I did so with my heart in life, I did so with you as well.
Leading to these moments of now.
I created and connected, stretched and grew, rested and refreshed…and I think I never specifically told you “I love you”.
Neither you, nor I, even look the same as we did back then…nor do we feel the same. As I streamlined your pages and lovingly honored excellence within simplicity, so, too, I did the same with myself. We stand boldly in our truth, quite uncluttered and unlayered.
I love you. I tear up as I write this.
When I created you, I had no idea technically “how” to create a site, I just went by feel. My “techie” wouldn’t always agree, but he implemented it all as I asked, and he taught me “how” to code along the way. I initially resisted this knowledge, because I thought I couldn’t do it ‘well’, but as I kept experimenting, I learned “how”– a lot of technical “how’s”. There is still much I do not know, but I am comfortable asking.
I used to be afraid if I worked on the technical parts, I would crash you. Seriously. My fear was that I would push a button and you would just disappear. (I was used to people in my life doing so, so I thought it might be the same with you). Thus, my resistance to push buttons.
But, guess what? When I made a “mistake” I would learn how to fix it. And you waited patiently while I learned. As I experimented with you, so, too, I began to experiment in life. To be comfortable with my truth, and draw to me those who resonated with it.
So, it was, that I credited my “techie” with creating you, and he did give us this wonderful connection–thank you!–when it was I, and you, together that chose the colors and feel and created the messages and pages that comprise you now. This is my heart on the page, a page overflowing with *transformational magic* (love and gratitude expressed through full presence).
I learned to allow you to unfold as you were meant to, which means that a few of the services I offered at the beginning no longer exist, and all of this now is brand new. It means that I trust you to lead me into the unknown, and I trust myself to open to all of *this*.
As I experience through you, here on the internet, so too I experience with my Heart in world.
Even though I was present to you, I initially resisted knowing the depth of you, because I had no idea where you would bring me. I felt “not enough”, yet gloriously ready to experience you. As I affirmed the joy of creating and connecting, that fear effortlessly dissolved.
When I click onto you, as an observer, your beauty surprises me. You are so aesthetically appealing to me, and your message is so refreshingly peaceful and inviting. My heart fills with awe, wonder, and gratitude.
I love you.
I no longer look to yesterday to see what you were, or think of tomorrow to see what you will become, I love and appreciate you right now, as you are.
It is not about the money, or the amount of people that subscribe, or the number of comments; it is about the process of learning to trust organic growth within unfolding, and using that trust to embrace the experience of infinite possibility into my now. It is about listening to my heart whispers, and allowing full creative expression; even when I have no idea ‘where’ the path might lead, choosing to step onto it and celebrate it.
It has been about falling in love and experiencing resonance within it.
And so it shall continue to be.
Thank you for being you. I love your essence. I love your presence. I love you.