Experiment Log Two: A Year With Myself

Experiment Two: A Year With Myself

Thank you for holding space as I embark upon this experiment!

Objective:

To participate in C.A. Kobu’s A Year With Myself group from January 2012 through December 2012. The idea to publicize the experiment was conceived January 6, 2012.

Method:

My method may vary throughout this experiment.  If I change my method, I will update it here.

Jan 6th: My plan is to look at the weekly prompts when they are first published.  Then, over the next two days, to read the other participant’s essays as I contemplate what the prompts mean to me and how they feel.  Then, the last few days of each week, to write my own essay and publish the link on the “AYWM” site.  I will publish each link here on this page instead of through my main site, because this is a personal experiment, not something each reader may wish to read.  I welcome comments on each individual essay.

Observations:

I will update the observations only if they vary from what is shared.

Jan 6th: As I set up the foundation for this experiment on my site, I am excited and a bit nervous. I apply clarity daily within (and to) myself and  I readily share very transparently with my friends any insights as I see them and process them.  I have not shared my personal in-depth opportunities and reflections so transparently within a public forum.

Weekly Personal Essay Answers:

These will be in link form, so I choose to list this item before the weekly prompts for easy and quick access.

Week One: There is Only Now

Week Two: My Soul’s Compass

Week Three: The Lost Girl

Weekly Prompts:

January 2nd: Theme for Week One: The Threshold!

1. Patti Digh says:

“What spaces are you standing between? Now, and then? Here, and there? Whole, and broken?

Now imagine those spaces as trapeze bars: what would it take to throw your heart over the bars and let your body follow, as one veteran trapeze performer has advised?

What monkey bar are you moving from, and what monkey bar are you moving to, in 2012? What does the space in-between feel like, sound like, taste like?”

2. Jennifer Louden says:

“What gifts do the parts of me I don’t like have to offer me? What gifts could the parts of me that I’m afraid of have to offer me? How could these aspects of me help me create more of what I desire?

You might try interviewing a particular aspect of yourself—say the part that is never satisfied or the part that keeps wanting to rewrite history—and allow her to answer via your non-dominant hand. Use your regular hand to ask questions and then let whatever comes, come!”

January 9th: Theme for Week Two: Your Roots, Reconnecting With Your Core

1.  Goddess Leonie says:

“Have you found your soul’s compass yet?  What would you like to call into your life?  If the 80-year-old you wrote you a letter, what would she say?  And in what ways are you a goddess?”

January 16th: Theme for Week Three : Self-Portraiture Rewriting Your Beautiful Story

1.  Sara Blackthorne says:

“Who are the women in your story, the ancestors, who have walked the path of their own true stories?  How do you find your beautiful reflection in the world?  How do you tend and nurture your core story, as you would tend a tree in the forest?”

January 23rd: Theme for Week Four: In Love With Me: Getting Good at Self-Love and Self-Acceptance

1. Ronna Detrick asks:

Fill in the blanks. Write for as long as words come. No editing. No censoring. For your eyes only.

1) If I extended myself endless patience and kindness, I would feel ____________.

2) If I were to let go of my internal record-keeping, the laundry list of all that I’ve done wrong, and all the places in which I feel inferior, sub-par, or less-than, I would feel ____________.

3) If I were to be ever-so still and listen for my own internal voice, the one that existed before the irritating ones took over, I would hear these words: ____________.

4) If I were to do or say whatever I wanted, whatever I felt—no ramifications or risks —I would do/say ____________.

These unedited, uncensored words and feelings are your truth.

Results

I found that I would read the emails, yet not write the prompts.  I patiently allowed for clarity around this reluctance to be fully present to this experiment.  If I was to withdraw my presence, I wanted it to be based in truth, rather than fear. I soon recognized the answer.   My attention and focus was being diverted from my own projects within my site.  This experiment requires intense awareness around each question, and as the quantity of my clarity clients rose, I found I needed this awareness (and the balance from this awareness) for those sessions.  I made the decision to respectfully withdraw my presence from this experiment.