28 Days of Love: Family


You might think this essay would be “easy” for me, since being the mother of my children (in one of my favorite photos above) is one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life.

And facilitating this Facets family is another of the most enjoyable experiences of my life.

I prefer to share a positive and enriching reflection; yet, if I am to explore family with you, my truth feels not quite enlivening.

The word *family* is a vulnerable space of “not enough” and “imperfect” for me.  My birth mother left when I was young and then created drama, so I don’t know her.  I was raised in chaos; a lot of which required extensive practices of healing and learning and growth to re-pattern and transform.

There is huge distance between my birth father and my siblings and I.  We operate on completely different frequencies (and that I use these specific words when I speak–words of faith, energy, and belief irritates my sister so much that she hasn’t spoken with me for years, though she will speak against me when prompted to).

I don’t “know” family from experience–how to connect within one, what it feels like to be appreciated and loved for who you are, supported and encouraged in the external world as well as the energetic realm.

When I am centered, I can see clearly, feel gratitude for, and celebrate *family* in my life: my children, my energetic family, my Facets family, my ‘soul’ family.  An abundance of enriching connections.

When I am not centered, I can feel the “lack” of perceived support and encouragement, unconditional love and appreciation, that I believe families share.  I can feel that as a single mother, my presence is “not enough” to cover the wide expanse of territory my children were raised to explore.

I can think “I don’t have roots”, how shall I teach my children about them?

But, I do.  Have roots.

I am rooted in love and gratitude, a child of the Universe, a descendant of all whom have come before me, interweaving my essence into the fabric of Life for all who will come after me.  

And, when I breathe that affirmation in, I see Family in myriad reflections around me. (Ah, the power of affirmations, truly!)

I listen to people praise their spouse, and parents, and relatives; talking about the joys of calling and visiting and sharing and I am grateful for the abundance and light and love they reflect.

I listen to people complain about their spouse, about traveling to a parents home for the holidays, about the obligation they feel to call and visit and share.  And, I wish people could see how truly blessed they are to have the family that they do.

I do believe that we choose to be where we are.  I chose my birth family, and I learned (am learning) what I was meant to, just as I to choose to be here, creating “this reality of family” for myself and my children.

I choose to celebrate all of the moments within family.  (another powerful affirmation). 

The moments in which my children and I move through our days individually and together in resonance.  The moments in which one of us is “off” and there is struggle and tension until we collectively center and process it.

The moments in which I create and connect through Facets, zipping along with ease.  The moments in which I hit “the creative or technical wall” and I stay there questioning until I breathe into and gently stretch through it.

The moments in which I am energetically wrapped in love and light and I feel the strength and support within this soul circle.  The moments in which doubt and fear temporarily dissolve bonds of trust until we choose to consciously center into faith.

The golden moments, found within the experience of family….are treasures…to be cherished…each one of them…neither “bad” nor “good” unless we declare it so…all golden when we use the lens of love. 

Thank you for receiving this reflection.  May you share a golden moment from your experience of family?  When you share, it amplifies the abundance.

Much peace and abundant love,


Reminder: Linger. Savor. Relish.

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Comments on: "28 Days of Love: Family" (4)

  1. jean sampson said:

    This is touching and very beautifully written. I am in awe of you, Joy, of how you have created yourself and your circles withing circles of family. I am honored to be among those in the circles!
    Lots of love and hugs!

    • Thank you, Jean! I do believe we all have circle within circles; expanding the definition and feel of family to include all of those circles reminds us that “alone” is a perception of mind.

  2. Thank you for the years, albeit your family of origin experiences, of listening to my complaints of the people you mention, the phone calls, the ‘obligation’ I feel..BUT, I’ve always believed from the bottom of my heart that we do not chose them. In my opinion, DNA does not define family. You and your children are my family, as are a few others I’d consider family to which I share no blood connection. It’s an honor, privelage and gift to be able to choose my family, and I do. Many and most times I feel more of a connection to the family I’ve been given the gift of choosing. So, my summary about family is yes, I do have a family in which I share DNA, but true blessing is that I can choose who else is my family…& for that I thank you.

    • Thank you, Gina, for choosing to share in this space! I will always listen; I learn when I listen..and in this piece I wasn’t speaking of anyone in particular…but I am thinking of how many conversations in general in world where people bond through complaining of one another, and how rare it is to speak of loving one another (yes, people might mention loving examples with their children, but think of even that, in general, people still complain). And, in the moments, if *I* am complaining, I am taking love that I feel is sacred and divine and dirtying it. It’s very easy to “not believe in love” if people consistently complain about it.

      I love this affirmation “its an honor, privilege, and gift to be able to choose my family”. Yes, a conscious choice of embracing beyond what you were given, and opening to love in ways that nourish; so many people do not, they stay in the circle of constriction and fear. So, thank you for sharing that!

      And, thank you for being you; your friendship is a gift, my “soul sister” friend, and you children are the closest to cousins that mine will know. I treasure that perhaps more than these words convey!

      (And that you connect with me via my site, is also a gift…one that touches me more than I can say!).

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