Understanding (and Moving Through) the Energy of ‘Heart-Break’


When a heart breaks, the newly opened space is sensitive.

When we choose to center into it with love and gratitude,

We are choosing to amplify the richness, instead of the pain, of the experience. 

Please know that before I share anything on this site, I have lived the truth of it, so I am in no way lecturing, just simply reflecting an experience that might assist you in living a depth of peace and joy, regardless of external.

There is this notion about love, that it eventually hurts.  So, some people dip their little toes into the vast pool of love, wondering why they don’t feel depth.  While others open fully to Love, only to quickly close down the moment that something external doesn’t meet their expectations; they live in tension, and they don’t know why.

Love is the most enriching, enlivening, nourishing energy there is. 

When we choose to tap into love we are, in essence, choosing to open our heart to be fully present in the moment, the experience, the connection, the creative expression.  

This newly opened heart space is very sensitive to the elements.

If you check-in with self, you will find that sensitivity isn’t painful, it is simply not accustomed to the feel of the elements.

From this newly opened space, exploration of World, life, connection, creation, is a joy…spirits soar, heart smile is radiant, abundance is felt and celebrated…

To be most comfortable, it is essential that we choose to open our heart in spaces that resonate with our values, essence, being.

But, we don’t always use such discernment, and we aren’t always careful as heart-tenders, so there are moments when something non-resonant, something not in alignment, something less than pleasant, touches that heart space.

One feels as if their heart is broken…

We spend our entire lives avoiding that moment of potential pain so devastating that it paralyzes in all ways…

I have been there, and there are no words to adequately describe the feeling of wanting to curl up and die, because each cell is alive and on fire, singeing something internally…but knowing you will choose to live, even with this excruciating pain, because life is far too grand, this moment far too precious to just melt away, so instead you will breathe into it, because that is what you know to do

….and that breath will be full of either love or fear…

When we choose to breathe love and gratitude into our heart space, we are affirming our belief in Divine, Life, World.  

This choice has nothing at all to do with whatever external is present at the moment of heart-break, and everything to do with choosing to live the fullness of the moment…

For when we can breathe into this newly opened heart space, encouraging it to remain open, instead of quickly erecting a barrier, we have integrated the experience.  Even if we don’t yet know or understand the lesson, keeping that heart space open means we will move forward with depth and range (and not have the experience of repeating the lesson in the future).

You see, we don’t need to know precisely where the step forward will lead, we can simply rest into breath and allow that nugget of faith to move us forward

So, you may wonder, well what happens to whatever external has touched us in such a way…I don’t know.

But, I do know with certainty, your journey is about you and your heart space. And, if you are reading this reflection, you are likely on a spiritual path of presence, possibly to awakening/enlightenment/whatever label you wish to use…and that is only possible when we choose to open our heart, in each moment.

World will tell you the “answer” is to numb your feelings, put up barriers, and make conditions…and I want to ask, if that truly is the answer, where is the peace, abundance, joy, wellness, in that?

The number one question I am asked from clients in grief is when will the pain end? The moment you choose to breathe love and gratitude into it.

(The tears might last forever, but that is quite different.  We are conditioned to believe that tears are symbols of pain.  My experience is that my tears are physical remnants of heart-space barriers that are being dissolved...when Love touches new heart space, it kind of  “zaps” through barriers, which are released as tears.  So, I cry, because keeping it in, is just adding a layer over my heart space…and sometimes I cry tears of joy because something is so beautiful it has touched me…same concept…)

What is my intent in sharing this? Well. I want for you to experience love. And I know that sometimes as we practice presence to Love, something happens that hurts us…and I wish for you to have a practice of presence that offers a moment of peace to you while you are in that experience.

If we think heart-break sucks, we live in fear and disconnect and that pain keeps recycling as more pain.

If we can understand that heart can’t “break”, only barriers can, we can do the work to dissolve the barriers when we are centered, while experiencing the fullness of Love as we move through World.

And, I want you to know this. If you are in a moment when you think, ‘yes, my heart just broke’…please tell Divine, tell someone you trust, tell me if you’d like…because the single, most healing thing you can do, is to breathe Love into it, and if you are unable to, allowing another to temporarily do that for you works just as well…

(Let’s say you are reading this, and you think ‘my heart-break happened years ago’, I understand, let’s breathe love and gratitude into it, now, and heal it).

This is what re-birth is all about.

(If you are interested in reading about my personal practices of presence, simply click the title link.  My intent in sharing this document is simply to share my way of creating and connecting, even through ‘heart-break’. This site, as well as my current classes, was created during, and has evolved through, heart-break.)

Much peace and abundant love,


Reminder: Linger. Savor. Relish.

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Comments on: "Understanding (and Moving Through) the Energy of ‘Heart-Break’" (4)

  1. Dear Joy, I feel your article is very central to life – yours and ours – and thank you very much for it. It’s written with your “heart blood” – and that’s it what touches everybody. – And as always your are very close to “real life”, really helping to handle painful experiences in a different and transforming way, bringing happiness into very difficult situations. Thank you! – Ephrem

    • Thank you for sharing this reflection, Ephrem. I appreciate your presence and energy! May we all share “heart blood” as we connect and create, tapping into flow and allowing that to be the current that guides us.

  2. Hi Joy,

    Thank you for this, it’s beautiful and wise.

    I especially like your quote “This choice has nothing at all to do with whatever external is present at the moment of heart-break, and everything to do with choosing to live the fullness of the moment…”.

    I, too, have “been there”. Probably we all have! And amazingly, even though it’s painful, at another level it’s simply rich. This gift of life … Amazing.

    Thanks so much for the beautiful light you shine for all of us!

    ? Patti

    • It is such a delight to “see” you here, Patti…thank you for sharing this affirmation!

      I absolutely realize we have all “been there” and I love connecting in that heart space…”simply rich” as you say.

      Love to you!

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