28 Days of Connection: Joy Holland

Welcome to Facets 28 Days of Connection: A Celebration of Love series!

I am so excited to share this with you!

My intention is to explore the energy of love, together. As you consider the daily prompts, I invite you to engage mind with the words and concepts and allow your heart to open to the feeling within the words and message.  Sit with it for a bit. Then, please share whatever arises within – tell me of your experience, ask questions, guide *me* down this love path.

I’m going to be honest. *grin* I created this series.  I sent the questions to my peers. Then, I sat down to answer them and they kicked my butt!!!!

I am astounded that my peers answered…and I am very much looking forward to reading their answers . I am also feeling very tender and vulnerable  – as in, who am I to host this series? I know the universal energy of love and I know the love of a mother for a child and I know love for nature and world in general but, I have *a lot* of learning to do!

I’m also going to share this.  I had a *very challenging* experience in Fall. There was a moment when really extraordinarily sucky external was handed to me and because my heart was wide-open the pain literally brought me to my knees and I felt my spirit swoosh right out of my body.

There were a few moments following – several days actually- when I — a person who lives and breathes and teaches the *transformational magic* of love and gratitude and peace and possibility– temporarily lost my belief in the power of love and magic.

What I know with my entire being is: Love is the Answer. Always. 


So, I kept my heart open and I tapped back in to  Love. I’m here. Heart wide-open.

And, only because you are here with me am I comfortable enough to share from my heart today.

Here are my answers to the series questions:

1. What is your definition of love?

To me, love is an infinite Universal energy that enriches, enlivens, nourishes and heals everything it touches.  It is an ever-flowing, abundant energy that one may tap into in each moment.

2.  What does it feel like when you are connected with love?

It feels like everything truly is possible. It feels utterly free and blissful. It feels like everything is “right” and *beautiful* and wondrous and connected – my heart naturally overflows with gratitude.  I sometimes cry.  I sometimes laugh. I sometimes remain silent, reveling in the feeling.

3. In your opinion, why would one choose to close to love? From that closed space, what is one practice or step a person could take to open to love again?

I intentionally live my life with my heart wide-open. The thing is, I can’t numb heart pain, because I always remained connected to Source.  Even in the moments when pain is almost unbearable I still remained connected to Source. So I have to feel it…whatever “it” was.

I understand that people close to love because they are afraid or in pain or have been conditioned to disbelieve in Love’s “powers”.

When a person wishes to open to love again – one practical, do-able step is an intentional thought along with a deep cleansing breath. Simply think the word *love* and inhale fully, then exhale fully.  Then think *I am love* and inhale fully, then exhale fully. Repeat this one more time (three is a powerful number).

It sounds simple. It is. I believe that Source meets you in that step. The moment you choose to open – with thought and action (breath) is the moment grace and peace and possibility can meet you, right there, as you are.

4. How do you choose to cultivate love?

I thought this was a rather easy question, until it is my turn to answer it *grin*.

I choose to cultivate love with gratitude – together.  My first thought upon awakening in the morning is *Thank you for the gift of this day*. That is a love connection with Source and this sacred container of time. That plants the first seed of love.

I cultivate love with and for my “self” by focusing my energy on keeping all in my space enlivening, enriching, nurturing, inspiring, encouraging. I am kind with my self in thought, word and action.

I practice loving-kindness with self, others, world.

I breathe into and through challenging spaces and engage my mind in affirmation and exploration, to keep my heart open.  I celebrate joyfully. All day long.

5. May you share an experience of receiving unconditional love?

I will. My children love me unconditionally. At ages 13 and 15 that is pretty big. I don’t know how to share an experience without infringing upon their privacy.

So, I will share another experience with someone I call “guitar man”. When I lived on the sailboat, he was my best friend, sometimes my lover, a soul-mate. I was hosting a huge party at the clubhouse- bustling about serving people, being the connector – my heart smile was huge because I love catering and connecting. He sat at a table, complimenting me on the food, flashing his huge mega-watt smile, every once in a while coming to where I was to hug me, and also making sure others were having a good time. After the food was served, he played my favorite songs on the guitar and kept everyone entertained while I cleaned up. Then, we all went sailing – he and I readied the boat together – and we took turns making sure everyone was comfortable and enjoying the ride.

I heard someone ask him, “why don’t you help her?” And he said “I am, all she really wants from me is my presence, the rest is making her heart happy”.

I don’t think words describe it well. He knew what made my heart happy (I didn’t want him to serve and bustle around with or for me) and he gave me the space and time to experience that. He knew the parts of the experience that were “mine” and “his” and “ours” to share; that it was all “ours”, yes…but where to directly connect and where to simply just be. Much of our relationship was like that. In general, when my light was shining he was proud and happy, and there to amplify it in his way; when my light was dimming, he was tender and there to amplify it in his way.

6.  What would you like us to know about love?

There are two things:

If we wish to experience abundant love, we need to do the inner work to remove blocks or barriers that might be restricting the flow we are able to draw in. 


A person can’t “give you love” nor can a person “take love away”. 

A person can give you presence and expressions of love and a person can remove their presence and share expressions that are not love.

But the energy of love is yours – and it is a choice to open and tap into it or to close. 

I created this video – a reading of Dave Ursillo’s poem “You Do Something Tragic” – as a reminder to share love, in each moment, here, now.

If you are unable to view the video in this space, please click this link: You Do Something Tragic

Thank you for receiving my reflection! I appreciate your presence!

As you read, what arises within for you? (when you share, you inspire)

Much peace and abundant love,

If you would like to join us for the full 28 Days of Connection series – you may register here anytime during the month of February.

February’s Energetic Intention Circle is now open through February 7, 2014. There are complimentary as well as paid subscription options.  For more information, and to add your intention, please click the title link.

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Comments on: "28 Days of Connection: Joy Holland" (8)

  1. Jean Sampson said:

    I just came from a very small and intimate wedding, so love is all I have been thinking of and talking about today!
    An artist friend of mine just married a younger woman that he met in China who is also completely involved in the arts. I have never seen this man be expressive except in his very remarkable art until he met this woman and she agreed to marry him. She is so sweet and loving to everyone! She and I have been in my studio drinking delicious green tea and goodies that she brought from China and getting to know one another and falling in love with each other, too! Now this man can’t stop smiling and hugging people and just being much more emotional with everyone! At the wedding we all thanked her for opening up this man’s heart and he was nodding in total agreement! So I have been immersed in love all day long! <3

    • I *love* the feel of this, thank you for sharing, Jean!

      What a blessing for both of them! I love that the man is now so expressive – smiling and hugging and being more emotional. I wonder if his creative process has changed at all? I know when I am *in love* my writing softens and the energetic colors I choose change – they tend to be more heart-centered.

  2. Thank you for sharing Joy – am emerging from a dark period in my life – where ego had me believing that I was everything BUT love – and is still making those assertions lol…
    Having experienced so much pain and grief – self inflicted – as it turns out – choosing to shut down rather than feel anymore…and for someone who knows and professes that we are One in Spirit i.e LOVE,those beliefs and that choice, was/is nightmarish…
    It has shaken the foundations of my Faith and Trust…and I now find myself rebuilding…integrating a deeper awareness/experience of the Truth. Looking forward to exploring this journey with you all…
    The poem made me cry…thank you <3 x

    • Thank you for sharing, Patricia! I understand and appreciate where you have been and how that must have felt/does feel now.

      I very much appreciate your presence in this series – may you thank self for opening your heart to explore…Source will meet you in each open space.

      When you choose to consider your past experiences, may you do so through the lens of love, releasing judgment as you look for an understanding of pattern so you may shift the pattern if you wish. Sometimes, the foundation is shaken so *it will be re-built* – so you are definitely in the right space here in Facets -a space of peace and possibility! I am rebuilding as well.

      A reminder, love and the process of remembering infinite love, is a cyclical process – our mind likes to think in linear terms, it feels comfortable and safe but the heart-path is cyclical…we take a few steps, celebrate, consider the resonance within those steps, re-calibrate if we wish, then take another step. We get to something unfamiliar and we sometimes step back in fear, then consider the resonance, do the inner work….so please thank self for each of those steps…I’m excited to step with you – to hear your experiences with the messages of each of the following prompts!

      I’m glad you like the poem…it’s one I use to inspire myself to stretch/open, through doubt when I am creating something new.

  3. Joy:

    I am really good at loving others and slowly learning to truly love myself. Thank you for your courage in sharing this series.

    Love, Tanya

    • Thank *you* for your affirmation and presence, Tanya!

      May you share a practice you use as you learn to truly love yourself? I know many readers are in a similar space.

  4. What a beautiful story of uncondional love with Guitarman.. What arose in me is that I need to work on my definition of unconditional love.. its more apparant in my life than I would have thought .. and what arose is I want a guitar man of my own ;)

    Love your final message, so true. no one can take away or give me love.. it took me quite some time to realize that and it has made such a difference in my life.. Namaste xo

    • Thank you, Caroline. The key words about *Guitarman* are “he was”. He came into my life and was *the person* influential in energetically moving me out of abuse. He was the only person in my entire life who said “I see what you are in and I’m not going to help you cover it and I’m not going to help you continue to be in it *and* when you are out of it for one year, I will be right here, ready to help you with your boat and whatever you wish in life”. And, I gave to him the experience of infinite possibility.

      The thing about the experience with “guitar man” is that in that one year I radically changed my life – external aligned with my internal centered-ness and when he came back in after so much had changed, fear ended up separating us. I understand it. When we center, sometimes that which is no longer in alignment naturally sloughs away.

      This, about the presence of love, is quite powerful *it took me quite some time to realize that and it has made such a difference in my life*. Namaste.

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