28 Days of Connection: Vanessa Anstee

Welcome to Day Four of 28 Days of Connection: Love Celebration!

It is a delight to introduce you to Vanessa Anstee.

Here is an excerpt from Vanessa’s about page:

I was stuck in a self-imposed, velvet prison, in which I was the victim who had no choice.

I spent hundreds of hours trying to get my business all ready and off the ground. It looked like I was working and I thought I was but in reality I was trying too hard to perfect it.

Freedom only came when I learned to self empower.

I melted the bars of my prison and turned them into a magical surfboard, which I ride the waves of entrepreneurship on.

I teach self-empowerment because it’s what I know and love.”

When I am ‘stuck’ I can turn to Vanessa, whom I trust as a guide. We met through Soul Caller training over one year ago. Vanessa shared an intuitive reading with me that was accurate and thorough. I absolutely enjoy her wisdom and insight and the way in which she delivers her message. We share in common a potent combination of moxie and grace, so when Vanessa says “look, Joy”, I look.  Vanessa is one of the few people in my life to sit with me while I was in excruciating pain; I am daring so I travel deep, and she walked those steps with me. 


Here are Vanessa’s answers:

1. What is your definition of love?

My definition of love feels like it’s constantly expanding and evolving as I do. I used to think it was about the feeling that you felt towards another or something that you were doing where time stopped because you were so caught up in it and loving what you were doing. Love felt like a verb to me at this time. It was a doing word.

That’s evolved into feeling like love is an intense feeling of energy that comes through you and as you feel it takes your breath away as you feel fully alive. It’s a pure connection which can be fierce and passionate or gentle and caressing.

2. What does it feel like when you are connected with love?

It depends, it can be heavenly and completely yummy and at other times it has a quality of fierceness that’s intense and overwhelming.

It definitely feels fully alive and has that rollercoaster quality to it.

3. In your opinion, why would one choose to close to love? From that closed space, what is one practice or step a person could take to open to love again?

I think the question implies a conscious awareness to close our hearts and I’m not sure that’s the case. It certainly wasn’t for me. I never thought I chose to close my heart until I became more aware of myself and my defensive reactions.

I believe we close our hearts to love because we’re scared in some way. We may not even be conscious of the fear but in some way we’re trying to protect ourselves from something that we feel might hurt us.

The practice I use all the time is to slow right down. I allow myself to feel the feeling by asking, “What is it I’m feeling?” and then I ask “What am I protecting?” and finally “What do I need?” These help me to self empower and to have courageous conversations where I am transparent with my process and what’s going on.

4. How do you choose to cultivate love?

I believe my gratitude practice helps me to cultivate love. Even on the shittiest of days I try and remind myself of something I can be grateful for.

Another way is to ask in a situation where I’m getting a bit tetchy, “What would love do?” That question brings me home to myself.

5. May you share an experience of receiving unconditional love?

Last summer my family and I went to Canada on a major adventure. It didn’t start off well. Within 3 days we’d had stomach bugs, my youngest daughter was in hospital, we’d written our hire car off in an accident and my husband’s credit card had been cloned at the airport. It was a crazy energy that overwhelmed all of us in different ways. We weren’t getting along and it was incredibly stressful. I was feeling completely responsible and we were all in fighting.

We went to stay with someone who I knew from a leadership programme and her husband. They knew we had had a rough time and they were incredibly and unconditionally loving towards us. They just opened their arms to us and loved us, with all our emotions, whirlwind of energy and experiences. All they wanted to help us do as a family was to heal and love. They told stories of their challenges with their family and as a couple. They cooked us amazing food, played cards and games with us and over four days our holiday turned around to the most amazing experience ever.

I kept trying to find ways to repay them. I’d try and tidy up, offer to cook, buy wine etc. They didn’t want anything in return. They just loved us. It was such an eye opener to me.

6. What would you like us to know about love?

If like me you’ve been a bit turned off by the lurv thing that seems to be talked about in certain cultures, let it go. It’s not fluffy and soft and fake. When you come from love and meet others in that space amazing things can be co-created.


Vanessa coaches women to live their courageous life now gently and with a kick. She’s an executive and personal life coach with a passion and commitment to living fully.

Vanessa’s website: www.VanessaAnstee.com

Thank you, Vanessa!

Dear reader, may you share an experience from your life when things seemed to be “falling apart” and someone stepped in and loved on you with no expectation? Have you had such an experience? (when you share, you inspire)

Thank you for your presence!  

Much peace and abundant love,

If you would like to join us for the full 28 Days of Connection series – you may register here anytime during the month of February.

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