When You Find Yourself at Your Wall


When you find yourself at your wall,
you can throw your being against it, causing pain…
resisting, blaming, deflecting, disconnecting…
or you can lean against the wall,
taking the time to refresh and center,
as you thank this “no” for existing
while you open your heart to the *yes!* 
waiting to be discovered and celebrated.

The Meaning and Feel of “The Wall”

Let’s process this concept of a wall (and “hitting a wall) together energetically. 

The first step is to think about and feel into the meaning of a wall. To include in that any associations you have with the concept and feeling of a wall. 

There are many meanings and feelings about walls.  Here are two popular ones:

1.  A wall as a barrier that feels difficult, sometimes even impossible, to scale or get around.

2.  A wall as a support structure (for example the wall of a house) that offers protection and comfort.

Sometimes we get stuck upon the meaning and feel that we are familiar with; when we speak with others and share experiences, the differences in perspective offer an opportunity for healing and expansion.  This is why it is essential to share – especially when we are in vulnerable space.

(In this section, I used root, solar plexus, heart-center and third-eye chakra colors to guide your energy into opening and considering.)

“Hitting the Wall”

The second step is to think about and feel into the meaning of “hitting a wall”. To include in that any associations you have with the concept and feeling of a “hitting a wall”.

When we practice presence, we often find ourselves in new space.

There may be moments within your practice when you have vested all of the energy you have to give-– without taking time to refresh and re-center — and you come to the point where you feel drained and not able to give even one ounce more of energy but you feel something external is calling for your energy/attention. You want to vest presence but you feel unable. This is a feeling of “hitting a wall”.

When we get to this point, our bodies are usually screaming at us, with some form of physical pain. 

There may be moments within your practice when you are intentionally stretching and opening to new spaces through new ideas/actions/movements and the consistent newness eventually tests your faith/trust as you find yourself desiring to move forward/continue creating and connecting but doubt and fear temporarily paralyze you.

When we get to this point, our thoughts are usually belittling in some way, leaving us feeling confused and unsure of our path.

There may be moments within your practice when you are centered and on-purpose, moving forward with ease, joy, peace, gratitude and you continue to integrate the lessons and celebrate the abundance and it feels wonderful, albeit a bit overwhelming, and you find yourself in a space of having used the knowledge and resources available to you and are unsure of what to create next/where to step/how to open further.

When we get to this point, we feel fulfilled yet, yearning for more of what we have just experienced, wishing for the “fruits” of the seeds we have planted and nourished.

It’s important to simply observe your thoughts and feelings for understanding and awareness. To release judgment as you gather information and to celebrate as you process. 

(In this section, I used root, solar plexus, heart-center and a mix of throat and third-eye chakra colors to guide your energy into opening and considering.)

Peace and Possibility at the Wall

There are many ways to negotiate the wall.

Mainstream seems to celebrate “more pain, more gain” aspect of hitting the wall; almost nudging us to throw ourselves at the wall, believing we will receive more if it hurts more. As a heart healer, this method doesn’t resonate with me;  I believe there is such a thing as “too much pain to bear” which can be healed, but is quite challenging and requires focus far beyond what most people understand and are willing to give.

Sometimes I am so focused on celebrating my steps / engaged in the process of creating and connecting, the wall surprises me – what??? how did I not see you???

And, it hurts as I “hit” – which evokes a natural reaction, usually not full of joy. The surprise temporarily distracts me from center. I might incredulously kick the wall to see if it is solid and “real”. If I have unexpectedly slammed into it, I might cuss it for a moment, as I clean and care for my wounds. 

Here is the thing. At the point of pain, we have a choice to react or to breathe into it and center. If we choose to react, and we don’t like that feeling, we can choose in the next moment to center and breathe.

If we judge ourselves for reacting, we potentially amplify the pain – as we cause disconnect from source, self, others, world. If we judge ourselves for reacting, we are in essence judging ourselves for being human.

When we realize we are judging, we may release the thought; peace and possibility meet us in that moment of release (some call that grace). 

We may also choose to heal the pain, even as we are attempting to understand and move through it.

At this point, you may lean against the wall (into it, as some say).

While there, perhaps you may choose to look around. You might find that others you know are there as well. It can be heartening to know ‘you are not alone’.

(If you choose to compare notes and processes, please do so from a centered space; if the person you are connecting with is still in reactive mode, it won’t affect your process and your centeredness will remind them of the power of choice.)

Whether you look around and find someone there with you or find that you are solo in this experience, you may choose to call in supportive energy by clearly asking Source and/or others in your heart-circle for specific energy to inspire, enrich, enliven.

If you wish to shift the feel of the experience, it helps to find something to genuinely be grateful for. I understand it might be a stretch; perhaps you can’t see something to feel grateful for, but you know you have this moment and you know you are breathing in this moment, you may feel into that.

Sometimes while at the wall, I find it in my heart to be grateful for the people there with me, for supportive energy being sent, for the existence of the wall and my ability to feel whatever it is I am feeling while I am there. 

Genuine gratitude opens doors to peace and possibility.

Now that I have practices of presence in place, sometimes I am intentionally stretching / dancing at the edge and I know I will come upon that wall, so I “expect it”. I am ready and I smile when I see it for it shows me I have “come far” and am on the brink of something new and wonderful….and I take a bit to admire it’s solidity and bask in the protection it is offering as I re-group. 

Dear Reader: What is your experience with “your wall” and what do you do when you come upon it? If you would like to share, what is your current wall and would you like energy while you are there? (when you share, you inspire)

If the subject of “energy and presence at your wall” interests you. perhaps you may also enjoy an archive article “Transformational Magic: Negotiating My Wall“.

Much peace and abundant love,


If the idea of shifting into presence to peace and possibility feels exciting to you, perhaps you may be interested in a Personal Laser Session. A laser session is a very direct, on-purpose sixty minute personal session in which we work together to energetically dissolve barriers and open to flow in spaces you may feel tender and/or stuck. For more information, and to schedule your session, please click the title link.

I am so excited to be offering a new session of this class: Presence to Manifesting Money with Joy. This session, I am including various practices of presence and energy movement (for example, color reading, animal messages, tarot readings). Pre-registration (with a 20% discount) is open through April 12, 2014 (please click the title link to pre-register).

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Comments on: "When You Find Yourself at Your Wall" (10)

  1. Jean Sampson said:

    This is going to sound really weird, but sometimes I need a wall to stop me when I am going, going and going and am beyond thinking and listening to my body say, “stop!” It is usually when I am so exhausted and need a rest but don’t think I can stop ——then, BAM! I usually get sick and then I realize how tired in every way I am. I do realize that this is the crudest way to figure out that I need to step out of active life for awhile, but until I get better at knowing that it is ok for me to decide BEFORE I get to that point, it is how I have gotten rest when I was beyond exhausted. Yep, I know there are much better ways and sometimes I can recognize the need for stopping—–and sometimes I can’t.

    • Thank you for sharing, Jean!

      I understand and many people can identify with your words and experience.

      I used to push and push until I landed on bed rest for 6 weeks which then was the catalyst for a huge life change.

      If I am going to push my body, I nourish it as best as possible and I build something into each day as a reward for the push. I find it so interesting that sometimes when we are pushing through, we remove from our day the things that feel like luxuries (walking in nature, meditation, even sleep) when those are the very activities that refresh and enliven.

      I love your awareness (it doesn’t sound weird, by the way, it sounds like what most people do!).

  2. Stanlee said:

    This is Beautiful, Joy! Thank you for so much deep wisdom and consciousness.

  3. Sector 84

    What have you been up against

    since last crashing upon that creature?

    A day you slay every feature?

    Shut up you pave walls intense.

    Butt up you blend silvered interiors.

    Fence fast lashing upon erratic pictures.

    Innocence of dreams exist the edge.

    Remembrance of dreams persist the bridge.

    Put up new lay laws pretence.

    A way you play scary sectors.

    Glance into your House of Mirrors.

    What have you seen disrupt transit?

    Stance you display so cleverly indentured.

    What have you gleaned resisting years?

    ~ Rand

  4. yeah…84 words that I worked over yesterday in a few hours.

    …listening to a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD right now…kind of like some of their songs…

    …I am pleased that you read the poem simply as being artful creation…’Wall’…got me off.

    …I can see a ‘ Poetry Poster Session’ where ( with your moderation) the community sticks up their work, perhaps some with photographs on a given day of the week or month…it’s a thought?

    Thank you Joy for your inspiring post and support!

    • If you forward to the next post, Rand, I am beginning Six Word Saturday. However, the challenge is the only way to post photos is via a website. I understand that isn’t quite what you are speaking about. In various Facets forums (including the photo class) we post photos and creative expressions; Six Word Saturday is a “simple way” for those who wish to jump in to play, casually.

  5. Oh how I once again find just the words of encouragement and reclarification here just when I need them most.

    Thank you Joy, for all you share here and elsewhere, in life, for all you create, for all you bless, for all you learn, and for all you teach.

    Much love,


    • Thank you for your presence and affirmation, Molly!

      The present collective energy is potentially quite intense right now, with last week’s eclipse, this week’s Grand Cross and the following week’s eclipse. I know many of us whom walk heart-centered paths are “at our wall” and talking about it together from a centered space, shines a bit of light on shadow.

      Love and gratitude to you!

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