Baking a Cake with What I Currently Have, Instead of Allowing What I No Longer Have to be a Barrier

I wrote this Sunday, March 12th then set it aside to edit it and life kind of imploded with a virus thing and a family emergency, so here I am sharing it with you, today – after Equinox, before the eclipse.


This morning, I made a two-layer cake.

It normally wouldn’t be a big deal. I graduated from culinary school, specializing in pastries, and it lights my heart beyond words to create ‘masterpieces’ for the people I love – preparing food that will delight a person is one of the ways I know to share love.


In this particular living space, that we’ve been in almost four years, I don’t have an oven. For any baking that I do, I have this tabletop convection oven and I haven’t baked enough to understand its nuances. I’ve had quite a few entrée ‘non-perfections’ so I didn’t even try baking pastries. (That says something about the power of discouragement over skill!)

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I also have one circular cake pan – so making two layers would require a bit of patience (and lots of hope that both layers cook perfectly).

The thing is, my son *loves* cake.  Sure, I am aware of all of the physical and energetic reasons that cake isn’t the best treat for a person, but who am I to judge love? And, I like to please the people I love by surprising them with their favorite things.

Store-bought cakes can be delectable *and* there is nothing like a cake baked with love and gratitude for the person (or people) eating it.

To be very clear: I didn’t plan on making a cake today (or for as long as we live here). I didn’t think it possible.

But, when I woke, I heard ‘make a cake’ which I initially resisted. I can’t live a life of flow and not listen to my inner knowing, so I chose to be present to this cake-making experience.

I like to understand the ‘logic’ in my nudges; sometimes it’s only in retrospect, after having lived a few chapters but this one was ‘easy’ to see.

I’m always doing inner work; it’s part of living a life of presence to unfolding within organic growth. However, this year, I’ve done intense, focused inner work to heal specific heart wounds, and to re-open to the level and ease of ‘magic’ I experienced while living with my kids on the boat. I feel very ready. 

Here we are between eclipses; a very powerful time to examine and release limiting beliefs and patterns while opening to newness.

It seems that each night this week, my dreams have been multi-layered and vivid; as if something within is shifting from patterns and conditioning from my entire life (which would make sense). Almost every night a very important ex visits my dreams and some state of deep forgiveness is shared; while I couldn’t imagine the possibility in ‘waking life’, I feel this healing each day.

It’s quite surreal because I wake and my physical self and life look the same but feel incredibly different.

I can sense the containers I’ve outgrown but I don’t yet know where the new ones are or what they look like or what will happen in them. I can also feel incredible peace and joy in the containers, connections and creative expressions that are most excellently aligned with the immense love and gratitude in my heart.

This morning, as if to confirm this new alignment, we had four small earthquakes (I slept through them and am so thankful!!). I feel that mirrors this ‘seismic shift’ within – like some sort of tectonic plate at my foundation cracked and the light is shining through and heart whispers and passion stuffed way down deep is arising. It’s what I’ve desired for four years so it’s amazing, wondrous, exciting, unexpected and a bit scary.

I don’t know what will unfold from here, but I know I’m centered and open and it’s necessary, it’s time and I’m ready to do the work of allowing radiant source energy to flow through me and lead where it will.

Along with that, this week, I am noticing that physical variables around me are aligning with my desire and readiness. In simple ways, that an observer looking in might pass up, and in quite obvious ways that feel awesome and unbelievable; I see this quite clearly as physical affirmation of inner movement and opening.

It makes logical sense, then, that today I did something with ease and joy that I hadn’t considered possible for years. Baking this cake. Showing my self in a physical way that my ‘inner magic’ still exists and I can create and share delight with it.

As I gathered the ingredients, I realized that the biggest barrier in even considering baking here in this space is that I was referring back to what I’d known (as far as equipment and cooking times, etc.) instead of looking at what I have in front of me and working with that. So, I let all of ‘previous stuff’ go.

I pretended that I was a beginner, using my knowledge and tools here in this moment, looking at what was in front of me and how to use it in an optimal way to meet my intention.

I told myself if it didn’t turn out, that would give me information on how to make it better next time. I thanked myself for being open to try.

Then, I put it together, with all of the love I have. I baked the first layer and it came out perfect (yay!).

Remember, this was a stretch for me. In those moments, while I know I can go into any kitchen and whip up something delightful, I was feeling the limits and ‘not-enoughness’ in my space. I was judging myself instead of loving myself and appreciating each step I’ve taken to get to *here*.

I breathed through it. I released expectation. I poured in compassion and kindness.

*grin* Since the resistance was in my mind, I decided to address that. Since I had one layer that came out well, I knew if I had to, I could cut it in half and frost it – then present it like a half cake (as they do in some grocery store bakeries). If that didn’t work, I could at least get one delightful piece out of it all for my son (that was my overall goal).

I poured the batter for the second layer into the pan, prayed a bit and….it come out perfect as well!! (What?!)

I still had doubt. I thought maybe when I frosted the cake, a chunk would fall off or my circular cake wouldn’t fit into my rectangle cake pan and it would fall apart. But the cake remained whole and fits so well in the pan!!

In wonder and awe, I kept thinking “I made a cake”. It felt impossible and I did it!!

Of course, it wasn’t really about the cake! 

I’m an advocate for patience, trust, courage and grace as your life experience unfolds.

I disagree greatly with pushing through fear; which disrupts natural rhythm and flow and often causing physical and energetic pain.

Yes, it took almost four years to be ready for this experience, but I also felt such joy, peace and flow during the stretch (of the past years and this morning’s cake baking experience).

My body is thanking me for my patience and for holding space for unfolding. That gratitude will help me to feel supported during the next ‘stretch’ experience; and I understand that there will be quite a few as my heart keeps celebrating its opening. But, because I was gentle and kind in the time leading up to, and during, this stretch, I’m not afraid of whatever newness will be in my near future days so I’m better able to center and open to them, which makes it all much more peaceful and delightful than ‘pushing through’.

As you can see with all that I’ve shared here, there were many lessons woven into and through this experience. I know this physical example relates well to my overall life and I bet there is a message in it for you, too, because I had such a strong urge to write about it here, to share it with you. It felt silly – I mean baking a cake is really ‘no big deal’. But, the insights gathered from the experience might be.

Dear Reader: As you consider what I’ve shared here about limiting thoughts, shifting patterns and creating with ease and joy, what arises within for you? What is your ‘takeaway’ from my cake experience? (when you share, you inspire)

Thank you for your presence!

Much peace and abundant love,


I am not offering new ecourses until April. I am, however, offering personal sessions, which are available in different packages via email or Skype. I specialize in positive parenting (a child and/or your inner child), heart healing, understanding your patterns, shifting energy into a more expansive space, manifesting in a specific area, moving as peacefully as possibly through a life transition and dream-tending. For more information, please click the link.

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Comments on: "Baking a Cake with What I Currently Have, Instead of Allowing What I No Longer Have to be a Barrier" (4)

  1. Hi Joy—-congratulations on that cake! :) My take-away is that you were stuck when you were trying to make the cake with what worked in the past. So it is creatively important to not be stuck with what the “official way” to bake or do anything else because no new ways of doing thing or seeing things will ever be tried or invented! Great post! I hope Kev enjoyed his cake :)

    • *grin* I love this, Jean, ‘it is creatively important to not be stuck with what the official way is’ – so true!!!

      Yes, Kevin was surprised by his cake and thoroughly enjoyed it, so that made this experiment well worth it!!

  2. Holy Joy!

    As usual, whenever I feel the nudge to re-visit your site and see “what you’ve been up to”…I find myself reading something so synchronistically aligned with my own life experience, IN THIS MOMENT, that is reaffirms my faith and direction. Just last night I had my own, similar breakthrough experience with an issue I’ve been strained in finding a new perspective on for some time, and as I read this post, and these words, especially…

    *I can sense the containers I’ve outgrown but I don’t yet know where the new ones are or what they look like or what will happen in them. I can also feel incredible peace and joy in the containers, connections and creative expressions that are most excellently aligned with the immense love and gratitude in my heart.*


    * I was feeling the limits and ‘not-enoughness’ in my space. I was judging myself instead of loving myself and appreciating each step I’ve taken to get to *here*.*

    that whole, Yes, Yes, YES!!! resonated through me strongly…and I realized, I AM HERE! Here, so so far from who and what I was, where I was, when we first connected. A whole new life, new containers, new ways of thinking and seeing and being…and yet, sometimes I still doubt this new way I am, and try to “get things done” in the ways *old me* would go about getting things done. But it doesn’t work, and then I become frustrated, thinking I’ve failed..and then, I realized, just as I read this…OLD ME doesn’t exist anymore! Of course I cannot go about things in the same way she did, and expect the same results…

    So, as with so many things, it’s a subtle (or profound) shift in perspective that brings us to the state where we can not only recognize * this is where I am now, who I am now*, and also realize from this space that we are ready to move into new spaces, become someone new again (constant, never-ending stages of metamorphosis??? Is THAT what being human is all about???) AND also celebrate (by baking a cake, by taking a breath, by connecting anew, by creating from where and who we are now) how far we’ve come, where we are now, and where we are headed…it’s the ultimate gratitude sandwich! :-) Lots of love and light and sunshine to you and your family!
    Love, Molly

    • Hi Molly,

      It’s nice to ‘see you’, here and to receive your insights via your comment!

      Yes to following nudges, then enjoying the synchronicity that always flows through being present to our heart whispers.

      As I read your words, and I can feel your wonder and joy at how far you’ve come, please do remember to thank yourself for each step, each moment of awareness, all that you’ve intentionally done and been present to, to be in this moment, feeling as you do. Please remember to celebrate ‘that gap’ which besides bringing more joy into the moment will also dissolve a bit of doubt you may currently be having.

      I am also reminded, for myself, as I read *your* words, that our hearts know the way to ‘do’ (or be, or ‘the way through’) this newness. Our hearts led us here and they know the rest of the way. So, maybe what will support peace and possibility in these moments involves centering (ha! – that’s always my ‘go-to’ practice, no surprise there!) and touching base with those nudges.

      You mentioned a never-ending state of metamorphosis – what a beautiful description, for metamorphosis is a natural process that doesn’t hurt!!. Choosing to live fully present with my heart wide-open means I have this feeling and experience (of fluidity and change) daily and often several times throughout each day. I understand many people who choose to walk a similar path, in their own way, feel something similar. One practice I do is to check-in with myself throughout the day to see what would delight me in this moment (because that always changes and assuming it stays the same means I’m not amplifying joy or light for myself when I ‘think’ I am).

      I think the whole idea is ‘can we love ourselves as we are, here in this moment’ and also love our selves in the ‘past and future’ as we were and are becoming. It’s also quite okay to feel frustrated or constricted – when we hold space for that the be and to unfold, we are also ‘shown the way’, albeit with a different feeling from deep peace.

      Thank you so much, Molly, for sharing your voice and experience!!

      Love, light and sunshine to you, too!!

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