Sharing Clarity About my Roots & Celebrating Divine DNA!

In today’s “Let’s Blog Along with Effy in September” adventure, she asks us to consider our roots, where we come from, our hometown.

This is a vulnerable one for me, so here goes…..

My roots:

I didn’t know my mom while she was alive, and I don’t know much about her side and what she passed down to me…..other than she died during open heart surgery (two years ago, I think) and she and many of the women in generations before her, were in abuse. And, that she was one of the first female fishing captains to own her own boat and fish the waters of the Bering Sea.

I know my mom and dad divorced when I was a tot, that my dad had custody, that my mom took me during a visit and brought me across the country and ‘underground’ while my dad worked the legal system to find me. I’m told that my Grandparents had money and power and are the first to file for Grandparents Rights either in that state or in this country. So, my mom stopped fighting because she was up against the impossible. (I blamed myself, feeling I wasn’t ‘enough’ for my mom to keep fighting for.)

My memory kicks in when I had to go from my mom’s car to my dad’s at the airport, and I was mad and confused because I loved my mom and knew her well and my dad was a stranger to me…and he had a woman with him who told me I could call her mom (which seems a bit insensitive to me) and when I said no, she slapped my face. It didn’t seem like a good beginning.

And, I don’t talk about my dad’s side because it’s full of shadowy stuff and the trauma I still carry was experienced in it. But something ‘good’ that my dad shared with me was what he called ‘God’s country’. He’d take my siblings and I for long drives in the country-side of upstate NY and proclaim ‘this is God’s country’; from that, I learned to notice and appreciate the natural beauty of wherever I was.

I spent years – much of my life, really – believing I chose this family, I chose to be born to them, and something must be seriously wrong with me to have chosen that.

I stopped blaming myself sometime in the last ten years when my son, who was a teen or close to it, then, said something likeMom, I think what happened is that you were up in heaven, or wherever angel beings are when they are deciding to come to Earth, and you were all about to choose parents and you said *hold up, I’ll take this family* because you knew it would be tough and you wouldn’t want anyone else to experience that pain”.

(Grace. Thank you!)

With this bit of background (which you know if you’ve followed my work for a while, or might be new to you, if you’re new here), you can understand that I’d feel ‘effed’ if I felt those were my roots. If that was what I was rooted into “Shadowy, abusive stuff”. (and you’d hopefully feel heartened to know that I’ve moved mountains to share something different with my own children – I promised myself when I chose to become a mother that they would know the complete opposite of life than I did, that they would feel appreciated and loved for who they are and they would feel comfortable using their voice and feel that their presence was valued and no matter what they chose in life – to do, be, create – there would always be a space for them at my table. and I did – and still do – the work to experience this with them.)

When I consider my *true roots*, I understand I am made of stardust, moonbeams and sun’s rays. I am light-filled through and through.

If I forget who I am and what I’m made of – my Divine DNA – *or* I want to cultivate or amplify my inner knowing, I look to the skies. I spend a lot of time looking to the skies!

I also spend lots of time centering and grounding (since I’m physically here on Earth, it helps – as far as peace and flow and feeling comfortable in my body and with the unfolding of life – if my presence and attention is physically here, too!).

I choose to center into love and gratitude, with peace and joy as my foundation and my boundaries.

I feel that from inner core Mother Earth as I center and from the heavens above as my heart opens from this centered space.

I most recently wrote about this process in a post in July. Here is an excerpt from that post “Birthday Musings: Centering Deeply Into Your Roots and a Practice of Releasing the Loop of a Story Through Directing Your Focus“.

***Centering deeply into my roots happens for me through intention. Through remembering who I am and what I’m made of, at inner core essence level and feeling that in my body and being, while inviting that energy to flow through my presence and weave its way into the unfolding of my life.

As I’m considering my inner core essence energy and calling it into/calling myself to express it in daily life, any surface ‘untruths’ I’ve been holding about myself naturally fall away. Doubts seeded by listening to others, or not tapping into source consistently or in spaces where the effects of trauma have emerged or intensified, quickly shrink and/or are uprooted in this centering deeply into my roots. ***

Dear Reader: I’d love to know, when you consider the idea of ‘rooting’ into something – an energy or belief – what do you feel you’re most rooted into?

Thank you for your presence!

Much peace and abundant love,

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Comments on: "Sharing Clarity About my Roots & Celebrating Divine DNA!" (2)

  1. What an awesome blog Joy! Your son is so wise. He has to be an old soul to tell you that about choosing to come to earth as your parent’s child. I also believe this even though sometimes I wonder why.

    I am excited to read more about you.


    • Thank you for stopping by, Jean! And thank you for your kind words.

      I do feel blessed to be the mother of my children; I feel they are angels purposely placed as teachers and guides (in ways of soul growth and heart healing).

      I’m so glad you have clarity about choosing to come to Earth; with clarity, there is such peace.

      Blessings to your heart!

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